Sentences with phrase «so old jokes»

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It's exactly like the old joke about the guy who is searching for his lost keys under the nearest street lamp: not because that's where he thinks he lost them but because the light is so much better there.

There's an old joke where a man's car won't start, so he has it towed to a mechanic's shop.

To the other... rest easy in knowing that I think being spiritual is a joke as well; but that is because I am an Atheist so I find Religious people even more amusing I don't need fear of an invisible angry old man to scare me into being a good person; I do good things because I am a good person and don't need an instruction manual.

Shrubbery As the old joke goes, for all of us who lost our teeth, or lost our knees in the war, God will have to supply new ones just so that we'll have something to gnash and bend when that day comes.

So it seems to me that for those of us who call ourselves Christians, but who also have used the brain that God gave us to conclude that the planet is more than 6000 years old and that the actions of Noah and his family saved all the then living things — that we can retain faith in a God who would not joke around with Abraham just to test him.

Weather you believe or not (I open my eyes every day) so it's not hard to All will stand before the lord on the day of reckoning which man will no doubtedly usher in and those who don't believe or against god will try to wage war on the almighty to no avail, only to be left in ruins... the great Satan (adversary) will be all who oppose god in battle, that serpent of old is still here today, we live in the middle of a brood of vipers and this website is part of the venom aimed at distorting the faithfuls belief as well as a an agonist for those who wish to continue to disbelieve... CNN is anti god To my brothers and sisters who truly live in Christ Peace be with you and never forget your path despite the darkness that is trying to consume you, bring enough oil for your lamps to live in this darkness and bring extra in case of a delay, he will not abandon you... we will not be forgotten Amen To those who don't, I know the myth of Santa and the easterbunny really choked up your insides to find that they were not real, but childhood is over and it was a cruel human joke designed to make it that much harder for you to believe in that which visits you and you can't see, no matter you have life so is it too much to ask for a little belief?

The technique for creating that marbled swirl effect is so easy that my 3 year old could do it — no joke!

So fellow gunners how are we going to push fast the dismissal of that old sturbon joke of a manager.

we haven't won at old Trafford in the prem in 12 years that's absolutely shocking and yet the club is still offering this has been joke of a manager new contracts and he's so out of touch he actually thinks the team is one of his strongest he's ever had and we're told we're over achieving?

The two - time Open winner jokes that he believes he can win on weeks when he's not even playing, so it's hardly a shock that the 45 - year - old from Ireland, who would be the second - oldest Open winner (Old Tom Morris triumphed at age 46 in 1867), envisions himself sipping from his third Claret Jold from Ireland, who would be the second - oldest Open winner (Old Tom Morris triumphed at age 46 in 1867), envisions himself sipping from his third Claret JOld Tom Morris triumphed at age 46 in 1867), envisions himself sipping from his third Claret Jug.

Gabriel for all his mistakes is better than Mertesacker, Holding and Chambers.His only problems were communication and decision making.His sale was pointless.He's now left us with three inconsistent defenders in Mertesacker, Chambers and Holding.Why am I not shocked that Wenger plays Monreal over some of these ones.The Ox loss to me is a big loss.There are players which every team's defender will find difficult to handle and Ox is one of them.He provides us with so much cutting edge.However, I hope we buy a winger and not a wing back when he's sold.Our formation is a joke and I'm hoping we revert back to our old system.Those also calling for Reiss Nelson to replace him haven't learn their lessons.It'll probably be too late when it comes back to haunt us.

No that's right Robert Mugabe would have never left lacazette on the bench, I'm only joking of course, I think so many of us are so annoyed, depressed and frankly really jacked off we're venting our frustrations and saying and doing things that aren't in our nature, I know I have and that's the real calamity of all this, a few old men have managed to divide our massive fan base in half, we all care about the Arsenal and have our own ideas of what's going on and the saddest thing of all is it's only going to get worse.

Must be a joke; should be ashamed to even mention this game again... I need a good drink after what i read and shut my computer... Someone said we should not complain as Chelsea flopped 2 years ago... So, yeah, we should as well and accuse referrees... I'm out guys... The season is over, what we fighting for, 6 to 12 place... Liverpool can't finish behind us, we have no consistency nor game, just pass the ball like academy 6 year old do, passing the ball... Instead to put the damn ball behind the net, contrrol the ball and never score means no control of the game nor the ball, it should be behind frekin net...

So with the newborn I had no clue it is just all left off my brain as to how to do a latch correctly and all that so that was a little surprising with having a second one but I kind of [inaudible] goals out the window with my second because I knew I had gone three years at that point was my first that it was just like you know I would just nurse as long as she wants to nurse and you know whatever happens, happens, I'm fine and we joked because my second was much more independent we joked that she would've wean more sooner than her older sister which almost happened because my oldest nurse for almost 5 yearSo with the newborn I had no clue it is just all left off my brain as to how to do a latch correctly and all that so that was a little surprising with having a second one but I kind of [inaudible] goals out the window with my second because I knew I had gone three years at that point was my first that it was just like you know I would just nurse as long as she wants to nurse and you know whatever happens, happens, I'm fine and we joked because my second was much more independent we joked that she would've wean more sooner than her older sister which almost happened because my oldest nurse for almost 5 yearso that was a little surprising with having a second one but I kind of [inaudible] goals out the window with my second because I knew I had gone three years at that point was my first that it was just like you know I would just nurse as long as she wants to nurse and you know whatever happens, happens, I'm fine and we joked because my second was much more independent we joked that she would've wean more sooner than her older sister which almost happened because my oldest nurse for almost 5 years.

Emcee Miller called Pressman «older than Moses,» and Pressman's former intern, p.r. pro Lark - Marie Anton, lovingly joked, «The party is at Gabriel's so Gabe wouldn't forget where to show up.

Davida and I joke about how we're going to be wrinkle - free old ladies because we're the girls hiding under the umbrellas these days, but we're not about to start carrying around umbrellas with us everywhere so naturally unintentional sun - exposure happens.

So now I'm thinking the 28 - year - old single is being ironic or making a self - effacing joke.

im fun outgoing, love joking around but can be very serious, im a good listener, know which buttons to push lol, im here to meet older women who knows how to take control, but not all the time, so come on lets chat and see where it leads.

so i will be Glad if i could meet some one with That... You can tell when two people are rite for each other... they have a strange way of finishing each others sentences, beginning to laugh about an old joke before its punch line, communicating with their eyes, or contentedly sitting in silence with a sense of complete understanding... I am looking for a man who isn't afraid of a commitment.

Let's face it, there are only so many ogre jokes one can really do, and when you have a docile ogre like Shrek, who has lost all of his ability to appear menacing, even trotting out an old ogre joke is out of the question.

The Hangover DVD is what we expect out of every male - audience - focused broad comedy: there's some mild nudity, more raunchy jokes than even most 12 - year - olds will be able to stomach, some partially offensive ethnic stereotypes, the women aren't so much as mistreated as nonexistent, and there's Mike Tyson.

He and old friend Kevin McDonald helped to form the sketch comedy group and TV series The Kids in the Hall, so named after a Jack Benny joke.

«Baywatch» was a regular movie, where his return was not so triumphant, the performances were regular, the plot a bit absurd, and it causes me more stupor that Zac Efron continues to star in comedy movies with rude jokes, but what saves are Cameos of the old characters, but by God, as Pam

«Baywatch» was a regular movie, where his return was not so triumphant, the performances were regular, the plot a bit absurd, and it causes me more stupor that Zac Efron continues to star in comedy movies with rude jokes, but what saves are Cameos of the old characters, but by God, as Pam Anderson ruined, and more than invited her to that movie, it's a damn roll.

It's honestly her intense likability that makes this show so watchable, for of all of the non-fat joke - related mistakes it makes (chiefly its Alex P. Keaton knockoff older son character).

The cartoon itself is suited for all audiences as the more adult jokes within the cartoon have been cleverly disguised so only older audiences will understand them.

Doesn't matter, it's still the same old tired joke = «black» is funny, har - de-har-har «dey iz so stupid»).

While some of the more obvious jokes boil down to «we are so old» (cue complaints about youth, the failings of ones aging body or some misunderstanding that stems from the characters» advanced years), these moments never feel contrived or desperate for a crowd - pleasing, belly - laugh response.

Norman Cousins (Ronald Pickup) is searching for any woman who would give him a second look, just so he can recapture his youth through sex, while Madge Hardcastle (Celia Imrie) is looking for the latest in a string of husbands (some to whom she's been married, the old joke goes).

The script, cowritten by Iannucci with David Schneider, Ian Martin and Peter Fellows, doesn't so much joke about dictatorship as find the very existence of authoritarianism to be one of humanity's sickest, saddest, oldest jokes — a fine distinction, but an important one, because it prevents the film from feeling exploitative, instead lending it the feeling of a lament in which the storyteller laughs so that he won't cry.

So goes the old joke, which has been around even longer than Kate (Charlotte Rampling) and Geoff (Tom Courtenay) have been hitched.

During an uncomfortable dinner scene, Belle's brother (an honorable Southern soldier who accepts the surrender) attempts to break the tension by telling a joke that starts «So there was this old darkie...» whereupon he's interrupted for some plot - related dialogue.

The jokes get old after about five seconds, long enough to notice the references, then Hot Fuzz carries them through... so it's admirable, but pointless.

And yet, they seem so terribly old, particularly Solo, who half - jokes that he'll name his expected child after himself, «so I don't forget his name,» and who spends much of the film looking utterly, hopelessly lost.

Beyond that, however, the new Baywatch can't decide how best to adapt this old - school guilty pleasure, so it chucks a bunch of f - bombs, dick jokes, and gross out gags, creating a crude comedy that's more often repulsive than fun.

There's nothing new or interesting about its use here and the jokes get old in a hurry when the method of telling them remains so stubbornly static.

I appreciate jokes aimed at an older audience, so taking your child to the cinema doesn't become an arduous chore, but Bee Movie misses the fine balance between adult humour and children's film.

There really isn't enough humor here to keep most adults from nodding off, and kids will probably not understand any of the jokes aimed at older generations, so the kitchen sink approach suffers from too much of one and not enough of the other.

«I was joking with my five - year - old and said, «When you grow up and move out of the house, I'm going to have to get another kid so I can keep up.»»

This car is so OLD tech it's a complete joke!

There's an old joke that the best cars for teenagers are those that get terrible gas mileage (so they can't afford to drive too far from home), are built like tanks (for safety reasons), and seat just one person (to keep distractions to a minimum).

Alas, the app (which is a bit old) hasn't been updated for the new retina display of the iPad, so the comic appears a bit fuzzy, but that's not likely to be a huge issue for an eight - year - old on the prowl for fart jokes.

I don't own an mp3 player and my cell phone is so old I often joke about needing MS - DOS codes to check my... Continue Reading →

It's like the old French joke about Germany — «We love Germany so much we think there should be two of them.»

But I am 57 yrs old and the brain isn't that sharp anymore (well do nt know if it ever was actually hahaha... my own joke) and I was never good in mathematics at school either, so I believe that there are approximately over a hundred candle sticks to learn.

Savings account interest rates have been low for so long that they have become a little like the old joke about the weather — everyone complains but no one does anything about it.

«I'm not so concerned about Old Blue chasing cars,» starts the old joke, «it's when he brings»em home and buries»em in the yard that I start to get worried.&raqOld Blue chasing cars,» starts the old joke, «it's when he brings»em home and buries»em in the yard that I start to get worried.&raqold joke, «it's when he brings»em home and buries»em in the yard that I start to get worried.»

(I also found myself wincing when she made a joke of her old beliefs that cost so many animals their lives; the situation called for somber reflection, not levity.)

We've had some jumping issues lately with our 7 month old pup (who also weighs about 70 lbs, so it's no joke to get jumped on by her).

Mantis and moon is a hostel with SO much character, you can sleep in the treetops in a treehouse or in a T - pee or dorm!The beach is a close 2 minute walk across some old - school train tracks and the evening is spent by the Mantis bar with friends, laughing and joking and playing drinking games... this always ends with a strip down and jump into the jacuzzi and pool!