Woman
is concerned about how having a baby could change her life 16 % Woman can't afford baby now 21 % Woman has problems with relationship or wants to avoid
single parenthood 12 % Woman
is unready for responsibility 21 % Woman doesn't want others to know she has had se
x or
is pregnant 1 % Woman
is not mature enough, or
is too young to have a child 11 % Woman has all the children she wanted, or has all grown - up children 8 % Husband or partner wants woman to have an abortion 1 % Fetus has possible health problem 3 % Woman has health problem 3 % Woman's
parents want her to have abortion < 1 % Woman
was victim of ra pe or inc est 1 %
, every
single phone call
is filled with statements like «Of course she
is still eating in the middle of the night — you've conditioned her to do that because you actually give it to her», «I hear her fussing again — that
's because you carry her around too much», «If you keep breast feeding, none of the rest of us will every
be able to bond with her», «Her first word will definitely
be Moneth, since you
are working» (Moneth
is our nanny
's name), «She'll never crawl if you give her everything she wants all the time», «We gave you
X, Y or Z and you turned out just fine», «Just let her cry — she has to learn
X, Y or Z sometime», «You
're spoiling her because she
is your first; just wait until # 2 comes along, then you'll
be a normal
parent».
Professor Bazelon
is also a contributing writer for Slate and Slate Double
X, where her essays on criminal justice, divorce, and
single parenting can
be found.