I'm not sure if you are still looking for
advice, but I have experience with it... My 8 yr old stayed in the bed with me (and hubby) since day 1, when I
got pregnant with my second when he was 16 mths old, we set up his room with a toddler bed (he could
get out of his playpen since 9 mths un-assisted, and never had a crib) so we made sure it was fun and playful and gave him that option, we also set up a separate cot beside out bed, so he could be with us still (I was not comfortable being
pregnant with a toddler and hubby in bed then, knowing I would have a baby soon) since I was
pregnant I was able to talk
about it to him and explain why he was going to have to one day move to his own bed (in our room or his) by the time I had the baby he was starting the nights in his own bed and if he woke up he would come into his cot beside our bed... I let him continue like that as long as he wanted, it took time but I did not push him at all, same with breast feeding I let him make the choice... when I left my hubby (now ex) the boys were both big enough (2 and 4 yrs) for me to be comfortable with them both in bed with me, and I was still nursing my younger one until he was around 3.5 yrs old, so we just had a big bed with us all piled in, I miss those days so much: (so how did I finally
get them both out of my bed?