A syndrome requires a generally accepted cause and effect, and there are many possible causes of children's alienated behavior (abuse by a parent,
alienating behavior by a parent, lack of emotional boundaries by a «rejected» parent, lack of emotional boundaries by a «favored» parent, developmental stage, outside influences, etc.).
Not exact matches
If times change, or tables turn, and you are in need of help, you may find that the very people who might have helped you have since become
alienated by your past poor
behavior.
Parent alienation includes
behavior by an
alienating or favored parent as well as observable
behaviors in the child or children.
Since it is the child who is being violated
by a parent's
alienating behaviors, it is the child who is being
alienated from the other parent.
In an article
by Baker and Darnall (2006), the most frequently reported
alienated behaviors included «badmouthing», interference with parental visitation and contact, limitation of mail and phone contact, interfering with information such as updating school or medical issues, emotional manipulation, unhealthy alliances such as spying and reporting back, and symbolic interferences such as returning Christmas cards.
Local marriage and family therapist Dr. Dahlia Berkovitz says parents who engage in
alienating behavior often have attachment issues that are triggered
by the divorce.
The
alienated child is described
by Kelly and Johnston (2001) as one who expresses disproportionately negative
behavior about the
alienated parent that is not consistent with his or her actual experience.
Dr. Dahlia Berkovitz also added parents with
alienating behavior usually «have attachment issues that are triggered
by the divorce.»
Although such statements are sincerely meant, the
alienating parent's view of the other parent is compromised at this stage, as indicated
by her
behavior.
Which you imagine to be so because, ipso facto, it must be there because there are these symptoms which we can identify because there is a campaign of programming
by an
alienating parent and that's how we differentiate them from otherwise explainable
behavior... and we know there's a campaign
by an
alienating parent because there are these symptoms there... Gee... not exactly comparable to testing for the presence of the pneumococci bacteria, or a defective chromosome.
«Parental alienation is evidenced
by the
alienating behaviors of a person, such as a parent or family members, or as a result of the judicial system restricting the relationship between a child and a loving parent,» author Steven Calhoun wrote.
«The materials have demonstrated that the children were being seriously and significantly
alienated from their father
by their mother's
behavior.
The second use of the term refers more to the specific
behaviors engaged in
by the
alienating parent, that result in the child becoming
alienated.
They often catch us
by surprise with their extreme thinking, emotions and
behavior, which can include: an inability to compromise, lying, spreading rumors, stealing, damaging property, hiding money, suing their employers, frivolous lawsuits, stalking, abusing children,
alienating children, domestic violence and sometimes even killing people.
[4] In general, courts have straddled this issue
by rejecting PAS as a syndrome, but frequently finding that one parent has engaged in
alienating behavior in some cases or that the other parent engaged in abusive
behavior or poor parenting in others.
«Having found that [defendant] father and son relationship has been damaged
by the alienation of the child toward the defendant, the next logical step is to determine what the court must do to correct the situation... «[Father's motion to modify from joint custody to sole legal custody in his favor, granted; prohibitions of various
alienating behaviors on the part of mother and her family; restrictions on mother's attendance at doctor visits and parent - teacher conferences.
In reality, one or the other or both could be true and in some cases both are perpetrated
by the same person, who abuses the other parent and also engages in
alienating behavior against that parent.
Horenstein noted that the children's accountings of their father's alleged inappropriate
behavior seemed to be verbatim with reports made
by the mother, and he opined, among other things, that the children displayed «classical evidence of having been
alienated from their father» as a result of the influence of the mother.»
In For the Love of Eryk, Rod McCall shares his personal experience with Parental Alienation, which was so severe, it led to the death of his son Eryk; killed
by the hands of his own mother when she lost her parental rights as the courts finally saw through her
alienating behavior.
Fidler & Bala (2010) emphasize an important point; while at times parental responses are less than desirable, the counselor should keep in mind, «few have had the benefit of being adequately prepared in advance to deal constructively with at least some of the extreme
behaviors that is manifested
by the
alienated child.»
5) Corrupting - The child is missocialized and reinforced
by the
alienating parent for lying, manipulation, aggression toward others or
behavior which is self destructive.
As most
alienated parents have not been prepared to deal with the extreme
behaviors manifested
by alienated children, they may not know how to respond.
PAS is fueled
by parental alienation, a series of
behaviors used
by an
alienating parent, either consciously or subconsciously, to sully a child's relationship with the target parent.
And, as most
alienated parents have not been prepared to deal with the extreme
behaviors manifested
by alienated children, they may not know how to respond.
In addition, in cases of true Parental Alienation Syndrome, the negative propaganda that is being introduced to the child
by the
alienating parent is not substantiated
by the
alienated parent's
behavior prior to the dispute.
Many times, the
alienating parent will justify their
behavior by telling the other parent that the children do not want to see them, something that will, inevitably, become a self - fulfilling prophecy if not addressed in a timely manner.
Tags:
alienating grandparent,
alienating stepparent, false allegations of abuse, false allegations of sexual abuse, parental alienation, parental alienation
behaviors, parental alienation
by a stepparent, parental alienation
by grandparent, parental alienation process, parental alienation syndrome, parental alienation tactics
Results: About 80 % of the sample reported some exposure to parental
alienating behaviors; about 65 — 70 % of the sample has perceived non-optimal parenting
by mother and
by father; individuals who experienced affectionless control (low care and high overprotection) reported significantly higher exposure to parental loyalty conflict
behaviors.
In a recent trial court opinion issued
by the Superior Court in Hudson County, Judge Gallipoli recognized that parents in NJ may have a right to collect damages for intentional infliction of emotional distress when their relationships with their children are poisoned
by former spouses or even grandparents who partake in
alienating behaviors.
The term PAS is applicable only when the target parent has not exhibited anything close to the degree of
alienating behavior that might warrant the campaign of vilification exhibited
by the child.
Children can and do become
alienated by the
behavior of one parent.
The term PAS is applicable only when the target parent has not exhibited anything close to the degree of
alienating behavior that might warrant the campaign of vilification exhibited
by the children.
So when NOW argues against recognition of PAS
by the APA, it's arguing, among other things, against a mother's ability to prove
alienating behavior on the part of her ex-husband and gain for her more power in the ongoing custody battle.