Rutter argues that these problems are not due solely to the lack of
attachment to a mother figure, as Bowlby claimed, but to factors such as the lack of intellectual stimulation and social experiences which attachments normally provide.
Not exact matches
Nonetheless, who would deny that everyone needs a
mother and a father and that everyone will inevitably form an
attachment to some
mother or father
figure should one's natural parents prove inadequate?
To allow «overnights» away from his primary
attachment figure (
mother) and in an unfamiliar setting would be stressful and traumatic, with long - range and even lifetime negative consequences!
Many studies have compared the ways in which 1 - 2 year olds relate
to their «
attachment»
figures and have found that the closeness of father and baby is almost identical
to that of
mother and baby.
But the
attachment figure doesn't have
to be the
mother or even a parent.
Babies are born with the tendency
to display certain innate behaviors (called social releasers) which help ensure proximity and contact with the
mother or
attachment figure (e.g., crying, smiling, crawling, etc.)-- these are species - specific behaviors.
The last limitations
to the
attachment model is that the
mother is viewed as the primary
attachment figure, when in fact, a father or sibling can have the same type of
attachment with the infant at the same time.
According
to Bessel van der Kolk, M.D., psychiatrist and leading expert on trauma and how it affects the brain, as many as 80 % of abused and neglected infants and children develop disorganized / disoriented
attachment relationships, which are expressed as unpredictable approach and avoidance patterns towards
mother, the inability
to accept comfort from caregivers, rage at
attachment figures, and pathological self - regulatory behaviors.
To allow «overnights» away from his primary
attachment figure (
mother) and in an unfamiliar setting would be stressful and traumatic, with long range and even lifetime negative consequences!
If the child seems disturbed - continues
to cry, etc., consideration should be given
to a prompt return
to the
mother or other primary
attachment figure.
Research on resilient children indicates that they need only one secure
attachment figure to be successful, and it can be a
mother, father, relative, or other caring adult.
Yet anti-father myths persist, such as: that infants and toddlers have only one primary «
attachment figure»; that overnighting away from
mothers causes anxiety or maladjustment in all infants and toddlers; that children prefer living with only one parent, and shared parenting isn't worth the hassle; that shared parenting works only in the case of harmonious divorces; and that the quality of children's relationships with their fathers is not related
to how much time they spend together.
Their husbands, as well as therapists and other adults, are easily manipulated by kids with reactive
attachment disorder and only show their other sides
to mother figures.
In
attachment theory, «maternal deprivation» refers
to the absence or lack of affection from a
mother or
mother figure towards a child at any point in early childhood development (Bowlby, 1951).
And, having repeatedly misrepresented research on infant -
mother (I use «
mother» here synonymously with
mother - substitute or primary caregiver)
attachment, as «parents» and «caregivers,» implying that they are all equal (Lamb's own research has found otherwise), and making the completely misleading statement that «most infants» are attached
to «both parents» this ostensibly indicates... that children suffer separation issues from all kinds of human beings, that there is no particular qualitative differences between one of the «
attachment figures» or another, that separation from one is like separation from another, and that all of this separation stress is ameliorated if the child simply is left with another fungible «
attachment figure» aka here «the other parent.»
In early childhood development,
attachment is so important that a lack of connection
to a secure
attachment figure (most likely the
mother, father, or other major caregiver) who was reliable and available results in physical alterations
to the anatomy and chemistry of the brain, such as reduced brain activity and less developed cortexes.
An infant must be fed by the primary parental
figure, usually the
mother, and must have the
mother present during severely physically painful events in order for a parental
attachment bond
to form, and either a consistent omission of the
mother from this process or an alteration between two people (the original
mother and the adoptive
mother) can cause either an insecure
attachment or disorganized
attachment from the parent
to the child.
Two major reasons for this view are (1) the strong similarities between monkeys and humans in social behavior, endocrine function, brain structure, and degree and duration of
mother - infant nurturance (Harlow and Zimmerman 1959; Kalin and Shelton 2003; Mendoza and Mason 1997), or, in the unique case of titi monkeys, the extent of biparental care (Hennessy 1997); and (2) the extent
to which monkeys fulfill Ainsworth's criteria of
attachment (Ainsworth 1972), namely, unequivocal distress upon complete separation from the
attachment figure and alleviation of this distress (both behavioral and physiological) upon reunion / interaction with the
attachment figure (Mendoza and Mason 1997).
Another problem with the
attachment model is that «the list of
attachment behaviors is limited
to those that occur with the primary
attachment figure, typically the
mother.
Most of theses routines are associated with proximity
to the
mother who is usually the primary
attachment figure.
But the
attachment figure doesn't have
to be the
mother or even a parent.
This quiz, based on the Experiences in Close Relationships - Relationship Structures assessment developed by R. Chris Fraley at the University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign, is intended
to help you explore and better understand your patterns of
attachment in various close relationships (i.e. your
attachment style, based on
attachment theory), including your relationship with your spouse or romantic partner, as well as your relationships with your
mother (or
mother -
figure) and father (or father -
figure).
The next phase,
attachment - in - the making phase, takes place from three
to four months and is marked by an infant's emerging preference
to be held by familiar
figures, although it is important
to note that the
figure does not necessarily have
to be the
mother.
«No variables, it is held, have more far - reaching effects on personality development than have a child's experiences within his family: for, starting during the first months of his relations with his
mother figure, and extending through the years of childhood and adolescence in his relations with both parents, he builds up working models of how
attachment figures are likely
to behave towards him in any of a variety of situations; and on those models are based all his expectations, and therefore all his plans for the rest of his life.»
It explains why strong, consistent and healthy
attachment figures are so important
to children and why children that are neglected, abandoned, or separated from their
mother may become frantic or cry uncontrollably until contact is made again.
To some, this was because day care involved the infant's separation from
mother (or other principle caregiver), as separation from the
attachment figure was inherently stressful.
Attachment to fathers was less secure than attachment to mothers with both biological and fost
Attachment to fathers was less secure than
attachment to mothers with both biological and fost
attachment to mothers with both biological and foster
figures
Alternatively, MCAST assessments of
attachment to mother and father, separately, may be subject
to cultural bias:
mother figures placed in the kitchen cooking (as prompted by the interviewer in «hurt knee» and «tummy ache») is entirely consistent with Italian cultural expectations and, very likely, also with the children's experiences.