What does
Authoritarian parenting do to kids?
Authoritarian parents do not negotiate, and children have very little say, or may even be punished for speaking their mind.
But this week, we're going to learn about a fourth style of parenting that teaches children the rules of society like
Authoritarian Parenting does, but without the threats of violence; this style, like Indulgent Parenting, hopes to raise happy children, but understands that children must experience discomfort sometimes in order to learn the necessary skills of life.
The Authoritarian parents do not attempt to explain the reasons for rules but simply punishes and fail to give any other options to minimize the conflict.
Too bad the authoritarian parent doesn't.
Authoritarian parenting does not consider the child's point of view and is usually degrading.
Not exact matches
In fact, it is the happy medium between
authoritarian parenting that relies on strict, harsh punishment and permissive
parenting which
does not set or follow through on rules and standards.
It has elements of
authoritarian parenting (
parents set rules and limits, enforce rules, and give kids consequences when they
do not follow them) but authoritative
parents are emotionally responsive and warm and listen and communicate with their children.
Authoritarian parents have very high expectations of conduct and outcome, but can be very punitive and even shaming of their children, so rarely
do children from these kind of families have good self esteem.
However, the Sears» co-authored books, or baby care guide and
do a good job in leaving the one - size - fits - all
authoritarian parenting methods of the 1950's behind.
If you are an
authoritarian parent, then you tell your child exactly what to
do and what not to
do.
And unlike
authoritarian parents, who don't give explanations for their rules and withhold love and affection as punishment, authoritative
parents value open communication with their child and give ample emotional support.
Most
parents do actually fall in the optimal zone of being authoritative
parents, but need to recognize that they might lean more towards
authoritarian or more towards permissive and that their leanings might make them feel diametrically opposed to their spouse when it comes to
parenting.
To recap,
authoritarian style
parenting forces the child to obey their
parents to curb their willfulness, permissive
parenting encourages willfulness by allowing the child to
do as they please so as not to create discourse in the family.
It doesn't matter if you're an
authoritarian parent, hot on punishment and reward, or a gentle
parent, focused on connection and empathy.
On the other hand, families with
authoritarian or permissive
parenting tend to have children who
do less well in school, have lower self - efficacy, less self - control, and lower self - esteem — placing these children more at risk when dealing with life's adversities.
While the
authoritarian parents tend to focus too much attention on obeying authority, permissive
parents tend
do only look for the personal part, for the feelings.
Does authoritarian parenting put kids at greater risk of anxiety, low self - esteem, and depression?
It's even been suggested that kids with relatively less - educated
parents do better in school when they are from
authoritarian homes (Leung et al 1998).
Whether you are utilizing
authoritarian parenting techniques and punishments or gentler, more «positive» methods aimed at today's consciously hip
parent, one thing remains constant - behavior modification techniques don't better our
parenting skills or benefit our relationship with our children for one simple reason:
If
authoritarian parents are demanding, doesn't that at least suggest they'd produce kids who are better - behaved and more successful in the classroom?
Through my own and others»
parenting experiences with ADHD, raising children in an
authoritarian («
do as I say, or else») or a permissive («
do whatever you want»)
do not work with ADHD.
Maturity doesn't happen over night and it doesn't grow because of time - outs,
authoritarian parenting or stricter discipline.
Some
parents go overnight from
authoritarian to a «
do whatever you want» home.
I know — we all know, whether we're raising a child with ADHD or not — that working positively on a child's more challenging temperamental tendencies is not always a quick or easy process... especially for the
parent... especially if he or she was raised with yelling, threats, and punishments or an otherwise
authoritarian («
do as I say, or else»)
parenting style.
Unfortunately, popular wisdom and misconceptions about how to raise responsible kids can lead to ineffective communication and power struggles Some
parents use
authoritarian parenting strategies that
do not allow the child an independent voice or sense of efficacy.
I don't ascribe to any specific
parenting philosophy because on any given day I'm helicopter, free range,
authoritarian, or permissive.
The
authoritarian parenting style
does not allow children to make their own decisions.
No, this
does not mean that the child rules the home - as many
authoritarian parents would have you believe.
Unfortunately, the
Authoritarian Parenting Style has some great lessons for kids to learn — like respecting authority, complying with the directions given to them by safe adults, and having a strong work ethic — but since the only lesson is «
do as I say or get spanked» the child isn't learning how or why to respect authority, comply with adult directions, or to develop a strong work ethic.
Does authoritarian parenting put kids at greater risk of anxiety, low self - esteem, and depression?
If
authoritarian parents are demanding, doesn't that at least suggest they'd produce kids who are better - behaved and more successful in the classroom?
We've learned that using the opposite approach to
Authoritarian Parenting, the Indulgent
Parenting style, doesn't make things any better as it results in entitled kids who don't know how to follow the rules, develop empathy or get along with others.
Victorian or early
authoritarian parents weren't strict because they didn't care about or didn't love their children.
• In this light of old Victorian values, you'll get a good understanding of how the mindset of
authoritarian parents works and why they see and treat their children like they
do!
As an
authoritarian parent, you will think that your children have to follow your rules and wishes, even if they
do not properly understand the reason behind it.
An
authoritarian parent has the «because I told you so» attitude and expects the child to
do something without providing any explanation.
Because of the installed beliefs that the world is open for experimentation and that there are very few «musts», children of permissive
parents are found to be more impulsive and involved in «problematic» behavior such as drug and alcohol use and
do less well in school than kids from authoritative and
authoritarian parents.
In fact, it is the happy medium between
authoritarian parenting that relies on strict, harsh punishment and permissive
parenting which
does not set or follow through on rules and standards.
Parenting behaviors (behaviors of parents directed to the child) were assigned to the parenting dimensions: (1) support, (2) authoritative control, (3) authoritarian control, (4) behavioral control — including active monitoring3, (5) psychological control, (6) general control — concepts that are too broad for classification in a specific kind of control, (7) general parenting — aspects that covered both support and control, (8) indirect parenting behavior — parental knowledge and child disclosure (see footnote 3), and (9) other parenting — all remaining parenting that did not fit the other categories (e.g., fairness of discipline, co-pa
Parenting behaviors (behaviors of
parents directed to the child) were assigned to the
parenting dimensions: (1) support, (2) authoritative control, (3) authoritarian control, (4) behavioral control — including active monitoring3, (5) psychological control, (6) general control — concepts that are too broad for classification in a specific kind of control, (7) general parenting — aspects that covered both support and control, (8) indirect parenting behavior — parental knowledge and child disclosure (see footnote 3), and (9) other parenting — all remaining parenting that did not fit the other categories (e.g., fairness of discipline, co-pa
parenting dimensions: (1) support, (2) authoritative control, (3)
authoritarian control, (4) behavioral control — including active monitoring3, (5) psychological control, (6) general control — concepts that are too broad for classification in a specific kind of control, (7) general
parenting — aspects that covered both support and control, (8) indirect parenting behavior — parental knowledge and child disclosure (see footnote 3), and (9) other parenting — all remaining parenting that did not fit the other categories (e.g., fairness of discipline, co-pa
parenting — aspects that covered both support and control, (8) indirect
parenting behavior — parental knowledge and child disclosure (see footnote 3), and (9) other parenting — all remaining parenting that did not fit the other categories (e.g., fairness of discipline, co-pa
parenting behavior — parental knowledge and child disclosure (see footnote 3), and (9) other
parenting — all remaining parenting that did not fit the other categories (e.g., fairness of discipline, co-pa
parenting — all remaining
parenting that did not fit the other categories (e.g., fairness of discipline, co-pa
parenting that
did not fit the other categories (e.g., fairness of discipline, co-
parentingparenting).
Because children are not encouraged to question or discuss issues with their
authoritarian parents, they often
do not understand and this can lead to resentment.
Authoritarian style is the classic strict
parenting where children are expected to
do exactly as they are told without complaining or asking questions.
The authors
do a nice job in providing an overview of the different
parenting styles and they are in line with what I suggest in my article regarding the most effective ways to say no (as an authoritative versus
authoritarian parent):
Fact:» [1] Fathers who reported strong
authoritarian views were involved relatively less in weekday caregiving, playing, teaching, and nighttime soothing and in weekend teaching during early infancy... Attitudes consistent with
authoritarian parenting, in which demands for obedience and behavioral control of children are prominent, appear to have lasting, negative effects on fathering even early in life, long before
parent - child conflicts and matters of discipline become common...» [2] Consistent with prior work linking maternal attitudes and father involvement, fathers engaged in relativelyless caregiving, playing, and teaching on weekends during early infancy when their partners held highly protective attitudes... Although an initial lack of experience or support might be expected to diminish father involvement over time, relations between maternal protective attitudes and fathers» relative involvement
did not hold longitudinally... the lack of longitudinal relations may suggest that father involvement is primarily self - determined and that mothers» attitudes are in part a consequence of how involved fathers actually are in childrearing.»
Parenting style (authoritative,
authoritarian, or permissive)
did not predict MVPA.
The
authoritarian parenting mothers experience significantly (taking α =.05) more
parent domain stress than
do the authoritative
parenting mothers, t (549.3) = − 2.44 p =.02, as would be expected.
Children
do not
do well with «
authoritarian»
parenting.
Most of the
parent don't know the difference between
Authoritarian and Authoritative
Parenting Styles and which is helpful for them.
Authoritarian parenting has some positive aspects in that if
done well, can create clarity around boundaries and expectations.