The phrase
"avoidant individuals" refers to people who try to stay away from certain situations or relationships because they fear feeling judged, rejected, or hurt. They may have difficulty forming close connections and tend to keep their emotions and vulnerabilities hidden to protect themselves from getting hurt.
Full definition
In a first study, we found that anxious individuals wanted their relationships to be visible to others on Facebook, whereas
avoidant individuals did not.
Highly avoidant individuals also reported using more hostile behaviors on days when they believed their partners to be experiencing highly negative emotions.
Whereas avoidant individuals were most likely single and not looking for a partner or only for a casual relationship (see also longitudinal Kirkpatrick and Hazan, 1994; Schindler et al., 2010); ambivalent / anxious attached adults were also most likely single but seeking a partner.
«The key thing is that
for avoidant individuals, the more problematic media that's used, the higher they're at risk for these negative outcomes.»
Acknowledging one's own distress might lead to desiring comfort and support from others, which is something that
avoidant individuals really try to, well, avoid.
The idea of love is a game may
help avoidant individuals to keep partners at a distance whilst the obsessive features of Mania may be characteristic of anxious individuals who struggle finding reciprocity for the intense emotions they feel for their partners.
For instance, there is evidence of individual differences in expressing avoidance or hypervigilance with respect to attachment threats:
fearful avoidant individuals are in fact characterized by cognitive avoidance of all highly emotional stimuli (Dewitte et al., 2007).
Subsequent research has stressed
how avoidant individuals differ to the extent to which they displayed anxious and avoidant qualities [19].
Indeed, the current study found that
avoidant individuals were much more likely to use problematic media than their shy and unsocial counterparts.
This article is a brief review of what to understand about the tendencies of
the Avoidant individual.
Avoidant individuals are not just uncomfortable with intimacy — they actually fear it.
For instance,
avoidant individuals tended to use humor and physical contact to attract potential dates, which might lead a potential date to believe that avoidant individuals are more comfortable with closeness than they actually are.
In the most relevant study, Wensauer and Grossmann 1995 found that grandparents with a secure attachment (in contrast to those with an avoidant attachment) had larger social networks, named more supportive family members, and received and gave more help;
avoidant individuals were significantly more self - reliant.
Avoidant individuals are more likely to seek superficial physical / sexual encounters with others (e.g., one - night stands) outside the context of a committed relationship.
However,
avoidant individuals, who tend to report less desire to be close with their partners, were more likely to say that dumping someone via technology was acceptable.
Additionally, when highly
avoidant individuals perceived their partners to be experiencing high levels of negative emotion, those avoidant individuals displayed more hostile and negative behavior during the discussion.
Avoidant individuals, such as your ex-girlfriend, tend to weather loss better than other attachment types (e.g., anxious individuals who want to be close but always question how much their partner really loves them), as they have a higher threshold for insecurity.
In reality, however, the researchers found the opposite —
avoidant individuals were less likely to be in a consensually non-monogamous relationship.
Reluctance to disclose inner thoughts and feelings, remaining guarded, and having desire for personal control are all signs of avoidant attachment.1, 2 Research shows that in adolescence and young adulthood,
avoidant individuals do not connect as deeply (they have less intimacy and emotional closeness) with friends and romantic partners as secure individuals do, and this lack of connection largely results from less self - disclosure.
Again,
avoidant individuals were no different than secure or anxious individuals in recognizing a partner's negative emotions, but significantly overestimated the intensity of negative emotions their partners were feeling.
Given this finding, one might predict that
avoidant individuals are actually more likely to engage in consensual non-monogamy (in light of their more positive attitudes).
Avoidant individuals were also less likely to post a relationship status or a dyadic profile picture.
So, when their partners were angry, hurt, or frustrated,
avoidant individuals were more likely to perceive partners as being more angry, hurt, or frustrated than the partners themselves reported feeling at that moment.
This pattern of findings across two studies suggests that
avoidant individuals have more negative biases about their partners» emotions, and when they perceive their partners» feelings as more negative, they engage in more hostile behaviors.