Sentences with phrase «avoidant people»

Talking about your feelings is hard for Avoidant people but it is important.

Avoidant people tend to have some or all of the following characteristics:

Deactivating strategies are the mental processes by which Avoidant people convince themselves that relationships are not that important and their need for connection and closeness is less than others.

These perceptions may help avoidant people protect themselves from opening up to or depending on others in the short - term, but it's also possible that these perceptions may help people maintain their avoidant attachment styles in the long - term.

Avoidant people often long for relationships when they are alone although they use «deactivating strategies» to cope.

In addition to being depended on, I think avoidant people also experience fear of being dependent on their partner.

This bias can be pretty harmful, especially in light of the researchers» finding that avoidant people responded with more hostility and more defensiveness in response to highly negative emotions from their partners.

Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.

Anxious individuals tend to strongly desire relationships and want to be especially close to their partners, while avoidant people generally desire less closeness, are less trusting and less reliant on their partners.

For example, a strong avoidant person with a highly anxious one is a set up for conflict and misery.

And avoidant people actually fear closeness.

Both dismissing - avoidant and fearful - avoidant people actively push others away.

People with an insecure attachment style are much more likely to feel jealous in their relationships.1, 2,3 Anxious and avoidant people consistently score higher on measures of jealousy than their secure peers; insecure people tend to see threats that aren't there and become upset over trivial or insignificant things, whereas secure individuals have higher levels of trust and feel more at ease in emotionally vulnerable situations.

This makes sense because avoidant people usually feel less close to their partners and are sensitive about becoming too close to the partner for fear of getting hurt, so they wouldn't put much effort into communicating with their partner via text.

Perhaps highly avoidant people felt overwhelmed by a highly responsive partner, whereas others felt comforted by a partner who paid attention their needs.

We expected that more anxious people would want their relationships to be visible to others, whereas more avoidant people would not.

Conversely, avoidant people show the opposite pattern; they monitor their partners less and feel less jealousy.

Second, when dating, recognize and rule out Avoidant people early on.

Then for avoidant people, it's more like, «Oh, the person is so needy, so clingy.»

Avoidant people tend to equate intimacy with a loss of independence and will try to minimize closeness.

Avoidant people also feel insecure in relationships but manifest their insecurity differently.

Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.

In other words, secure people are motivated to be leaders because they want to help others, while avoidant people are more likely to seek leadership positions in order to enhance their own status or power.

Anxious people were consistently more anxious with all their sexual partners, whereas avoidant people were not avoidant with all their partners — they were avoidant with some but not others.

By saying that, I'm not trying to imply that all single people are avoidant, or even that we thought we would find a huge difference - just that we thought there might be a statistically significant difference because, as a whole, avoidant people are less likely to form lasting romantic relationships, which places a large portion of them in the category of single people.»

«Deactivating strategies» are those mental processes by which the Avoidant person convinces themselves that being alone is just as good or better than being in relationship.

Further, the Avoidant person may long for the ideal lover, reviewing how all pervious potential partners fell short of that ideal and rationalize their single status with impossibly high standards.

We need conscious effort to change them and if our patterns are not dealt with successfully, the withdrawal of the Avoidant person ignites the pursuit of the Anxious person and that well - known dance of pursuer - distancer begins.

When an Avoidant person is more available, attentive and responsive (as opposed to partially checked out and / or periodically dismissive), the relationship will be more satisfying for both partners.

A Secure partner will be able to tolerate the periodic withdrawal that feels necessary for an Avoidant person.

As I discussed in my other articles, the dating pool is disproportionately weighted toward Anxious and Avoidant people.

The avoidant person has to learn how to move back into the relationship.

Often, the Avoidant person will come out of a period of loneliness with a renewed commitment to see a new partner in more a positive light.

The Fearful - Avoidant person is usually a survivor of some type of trauma.

Sometimes the newness of a relationship helps the Avoidant person successfully «show up» with their feelings, wishes and needs.

Research indicates that helping the Avoidant person open the door and step back into the relationship is the only way to shift this dynamic.

Anxious, Avoidant and Fearful - Avoidant people have a harder time with the ebbs & flows and the conflicts and their interactions often become «protests» about their experience of the connection: too little, too much, too unpredictable.

In other words, an Avoidant person may find themselves preoccupied and pursuing, thus looking more like an Anxious person if the person they meet is more Avoidant and distancing than they are.

The Avoidant person sends mixed messages, fails to say, «I love you» and is very hesitant to commit.

These deactivating strategies are also used when an Avoidant person is in a relationship.

When the Secure person can easily grant the «space» that the Avoidant person says they need, the Avoidant person often realizes more quickly they no longer need space.

When an Anxious person meets an Avoidant person, their eagerness for closeness can raise the anxiety of the Avoidant one.

The difference is that dismissing - avoidant people see others as unworthy of their attention, while fearful - avoidant people see themselves as unworthy of love.