Not exact matches
When
abusive relationships have occurred limited contact
between parents, as well as, children, may be in a child's best interest.
Hopefully, the distinction
between controversial,
abusive parenting and therapeutic practices versus developmentally appropriate attachment
parenting is now clearer.
In almost all
abusive situations, children witness the violence that occurs
between their
parents even if they are not themselves physically abused.
The similarities
between Rimbaud's life and Wojnarowicz's are striking: They lived exactly a century apart and both died in their late 30s; each came from a broken home with
abusive parents; both fled to the big city — Rimbaud to Paris, Wojnarowicz to New York; both were gay, and each found a surrogate father in the form of an older lover — Paul Verlaine for Rimbaud, Peter Hujar for Wojnarowicz.
Over two and a half hours, we engaged in a rich discussion about how changes in family law in BC are playing out in the lives of mothers with
abusive or harassing exes, and what strategies can help women cope with challenging legal situations like litigation harassment, denial of
parenting time,
parenting assessment reports, and the overlap
between child protection and family law matters.
Thus, clearly distinguishing
between abusive and non-
abusive parents will always be difficult.
This may include the ability of the custodial
parent to encourage a relationship
between the child and non-custodial
parent, or the ability of the custodial
parent to keep the child away from an
abusive non-custodial
parent.
To make this decision, the courts consider many factors including, but not limited to, the child's preference if he or she is mature enough to make a decision; the ability and willingness of each
parent to provide for the child's physical, intellectual and emotional well - being; the willingness of the custodial
parent to provide continuing contact
between the child and the noncustodial
parent; and
abusive or criminal conduct by the other
parent.
Intergenerational transmission of
abusive parenting (e.g., Egeland et al. 1988) even among
parents who consciously attempt to be good
parents, further suggests a strong link
between a
parent's own experienced upbringing and his / her
parenting of his / her own children.
Both research and our own observations lead us to expect that having been abused or neglected or having witnessed violence
between parents as a child will contribute to an individual's increased risk to abuse or neglect one's own child or to be involved in an
abusive relationship as an adult.
In a notebook, record detailed information about
parenting behavior (yours and the other
parent's),
abusive behaviors, threatening statements made, and explanations of any confrontations
between the two of you.
By responding as if these minor elicited criticisms actually represent severe parental failures on your part, the child is led into falsely believing that these normal - range interactions
between you and the child were actually «evidence» of your «
abusive»
parenting practices toward the child.
Hopefully, the distinction
between controversial,
abusive parenting and therapeutic practices versus developmentally appropriate attachment
parenting is now clearer.
Results suggest the screening and assessment procedure differentiated
between parents with greater and lesser degrees of risk for being
abusive or neglectful.
For example, the below commenting MHP — who has been a
parenting coordinator («case manager») on at least one case known to the author in which a severely battered woman lost custody of her daughter to the
abusive father, and who regularly performs custody evaluations as well — appears oblivious to the impact of MHP fees (which typically are divided equally
between the
parents) on a
parent with substantially lower income than the other: [ANONYMOUS LISTSERVE COMMENT]: «If you want the
parents to cooperate, why not add a provision that they must go back to mediation or to a
parent coordinator if they can not come to an agreement.
In describing DV as «a dynamic
between parents» (p. 8), and making statements such as when «
parents are entangled in an
abusive relationship» (p. 12), «when there is violence at home» (p. 8), and «violence or abuse in the
parents» relationship» (p. 9), rather than discussing abusers who batter their partners, most mental health professionals doing custody evaluations, mediation or otherwise involved in custody disputes, who have been schooled in the family systems dynamic, will continue to see the problem as involving the dysfunction of both
parents.
It relieves an innocent
parent of the responsibility to promote a relationship
between the child and an
abusive parent, and committing abuse weighs against a
parent and may cost him custody.
The mean scores for harsh /
abusive and nurturing
parenting, and maternal mental health, were similar
between the two groups.