And while it's easy to downplay the early
signals of
emotional infidelity («I'm just being friendly»; «We're just friends»), there are
clear warning signs that you may be entering into an
emotional affair danger zone.
As the child adopts the role as the «regulatory other» for the narcissistic / (borderline) parent's pathology in order to avoid the
emotional collapse of the narcissistic / (borderline) parent into chaotic and unpredictable displays of intense parental anxiety, sadness, or anger it becomes relatively easy for the narcissistic / (borderline) parent to then communicate to the child through
clear but subtle «
emotional signals» and «relational moves» that the parent's
emotional regulation is dependent on the child adopting the «victimized child» role in the narcissistic / (borderline) parent's trauma reenactment narrative.