There are several goals
in couples therapy: 1) understand how prior relationships provide the framework for how adults view self and partner
in close relationships, and and how relationship patterns («the dance») occur; 2) create a secure relationship where partners are emotionally available, genuinely involved and responsive
in a
sensitive and caring
way; 3) establish trust and a sense of safety and comfort, especially during difficult times and distressing emotions («fight fair»), 4) change the dance — learn constructive communication and conflict - management skills so that partners respond to one another's needs and emotions with empathy, understanding and support, rather than with anger, rejection or withdrawal; 5) experience a secure relationship with the therapist, who models attunement, support, self control, patience and appropriate boundaries.