Rather than
declaring utter failure or forcing a resolve, the best approach is, often, simply to try to understand your partner better, accept him / her, and build compassion for your differences.
He protested about the fashion in which those who proclaim the gospel often spend most of their time in stimulating an artificial sense of
utter failure and sinfulness, so that then those preachers could
declare that after all God still cares for such miserable wretches as he has induced his hearers to think themselves to be.