He long ago discovered that to maintain a satisfying relationship, couples must generate five seconds of positive emotions for every second of negative
emotions during conflict discussions.
Interestingly, this stress response pattern was mirrored by less constructive ways of soliciting and providing
support during the conflict discussion: anxiously attached wives were less able to recognize their avoidant husbands» distress, whereas avoidant husbands found it difficult to constructively express their needs to their anxious wives.
In our last posting on The Gottman Relationship Blog, we talked about finding common
ground during a conflict discussion and shared an exercise to help you and your partner understand each other's basic emotional needs.
In the following section, we present two empirical applications that extend the basic model: In the first one, we study observational data concerning the affective behavior of
spouses during a conflict discussion, and in the second one, we analyze diary data concerning negative affect.
During a conflict discussion, the Masters had a ratio of 5:1 positive interactions to negative interactions, while the Disasters had a ratio of 0.8:1.
If the ratio of positivity to negativity exceeds 5.0
during conflict discussions, a couple is likely to stay together.
During this conflict discussion, couples were alone in the room and were videotaped.