Division of labor, for instance, only becomes noticeable and problematic by either or both spouses when there are other, more meaningul areas of the marriage that are suffering: not feeling known by and / or wanting to know your spouse, a depleted fondness and admiration for and from your spouse, and a general
lowered emotional bank account which turns neutral / trivial actions and statements into fights, resentment, and eventually the true cancer of relationships, contempt.