"Loyalty conflicts" refers to a situation where a person feels torn between two or more loyalties or commitments. It can be challenging for them to make a decision because they don't want to disappoint or betray either side.
Full definition
Given the potential detrimental impact of parental
loyalty conflict behaviors on the well - being of children, it is critical to develop interventions to address this phenomenon.
Data did not necessarily reflect the full complement of
parental loyalty conflict behaviors to which the person had been exposed.
• Knowing a child of this age
experiences loyalty conflicts, how does the parent assure the child of a loving relationship with the other parent?
We agree not to place our child / children
in loyalty conflicts between the two of us, or to try to have them take sides to support one parent or the other.
Over the years, I've interviewed many children of divorce who describe the pressure
of loyalty conflicts.
Children of divorce in the 6 - to 7 - year age range are more likely to suffer
from loyalty conflicts, and to be concerned about hurting their parents.
Do you want your child to relax and be focused on their event and not stressed
by loyalty conflicts?
The best thing you and your ex can do to keep your teens from feeling like they are caught in
split loyalty conflicts is to work through your own feelings of anger and betrayal.
After the divorce, children want peace in their lives, and they want the opportunity to love both of their parents
without loyalty conflicts.
Children
develop loyalty conflicts and become afraid to love both of their parents or to express their love for one parent in front of the other parent.
Therefore, the current data demonstrate that exposure to
parental loyalty conflict behaviors and low self - esteem can also increase an adult's risk of psychological distress.
Agree not to place the children
in loyalty conflicts by forcing them to choose one side against the other.
The BSQ is a 20 - item measure comprised of a list of 19 specific behaviors and one general behavior that parents might engage in to
induce loyalty conflict in their child.
The results indicated significant differences across PBI quadrants (mother) for exposure to
maternal loyalty conflict behaviors [F (3,431) = 28.975, p < 0.001].
University of Missouri stepfamily researchers Marilyn Coleman and Larry Ganong found that warm and loving stepmothers cause the most severe
loyalty conflicts for children.
Children may feel awkward spending time with an adult who is not a parent and experience
loyalty conflicts between biological parents and new partners, according to licensed marriage and family therapist Jean McBride.
For paternal parenting, differences across PBI quadrants (father) on measures of exposure to
paternal loyalty conflict behaviors were significant [F (3,426) = 25.702, p < 0.001].
In other words, children in families where
loyalty conflicts exist tend to side with one parent, oftentimes alienating the other.
«Dr. Jolie Brams, a political psychologist specializing in children and families, testified on behalf of defendant as to «parental alienation syndrome,» a syndrome described as the skewing of children's behaviors, attitudes and perceptions because of tensions and
loyalty conflicts within a family.
High conflict divorce children in the 9 - to 12 - year - old group are particularly vulnerable to forming strong, PAS type alignments with one parent, as they try to «resolve» their
earlier loyalty conflicts.
If you have or know a child that is dealing with a difficult divorce, this workbook will give them the tools needed to move
past loyalty conflicts and the difficult emotions that can arise when parents don't get along.
According to psychologist, Dr. Joshua Coleman, splitting up children and letting them choose their residence can also
create loyalty conflicts for children because divorce often means a fundamental reshaping of alliances.
According to Amato and Afifi (2006) youth who are involved in their parents» conflict can feel caught between their parents and hence experience
stressful loyalty conflicts and cognitive dissonance.
The specific questions in the current study included: (1) What is the prevalence of recall of childhood exposure to
parental loyalty conflict behaviors in an Italian population of adults whose parents had separated or divorced?
If you're co-parenting with an ex who engages in behaviors that
induce loyalty conflicts, your child might become alienated and exhibit the eight behaviors described in this article.
Moreover, individuals who reported neglectful parenting had significantly higher recall of exposure to
maternal loyalty conflict behaviors compared to participants who reported optimal parenting and affectionate constraint, and lower recall compared to adults who experienced maternal affectionless control.
- Dealing with differences; - Establishing limits (of time, space, authority, money); -
Avoiding loyalty conflicts; - Easing transitions.
Post hoc test Bonferroni revealed that, compared to individuals who reported optimal parenting, affectionate constraint, and neglectful parenting, individuals who experienced affectionless control reported significantly higher recall of exposure to
paternal loyalty conflict behaviors.
Their increasing ability to empathize makes them at special risk for
experiencing loyalty conflicts, putting themselves in the middle of parental conflict, or siding with one parent over the other.
Even in the most difficult and painful cases of marital separation, if the parents really want to spare their children the pain of being caught
in loyalty conflict, they will figure out a way to develop a mutual story of the divorce.
The video, Children in the Middle, teaches parents to reduce the number
of loyalty conflicts and the number of times the child is exposed to their arguments.
Along with Amy Baker, he is the co-author of a chapter in the recently released Working with Alienated Children and Families: A Clinical Guidebook (2012) and the forthcoming book Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex: Protecting Your Children
from Loyalty Conflicts and Alienation (2013).
One - way ANOVA's were conducted to test the hypothesis that perceived lack of care and overprotection during childhood would be associated with exposure to parental
loyalty conflict behavior by mothers and by fathers.
A child may feel
a loyalty conflict between the new partner and the other parent.
Loyalty conflicts, where a child feels pressure to choose sides, are the most damaging aspect of parental conflict.
Out of 739 adults who were children when their parents divorced, 75 % said they were exposed to parental alienation behaviors, and many stated they felt «
loyalty conflict» with their parents.
Fifteen percent agreed at least one parent «tried to turn me against the other parent» Adults with a history of childhood alienation experiences had a significantly lower quality of life than adults who did not experience parental alienation and
loyalty conflict (Bernet et al. 2015; Verrocchio & Baker 2015).
No matter what the disagreement is about, children who are caught up in
a loyalty conflict will side with their favored parent.
By Amy Baker (Ph.D.) and Paul Fine (LCSW) How you handle your emotions when your children are experiencing
loyalty conflicts is important.