The couples in distressed marriages, on the other hand, were motivated by more
negative intentions in their communication with their spouses.
Since we are all hard - wired with intuition and psychic abilities, we can often feel when someone has
negative intentions around us.
Saying «I feel insecure and need reassurance» is very different than saying, «I feel you're lying to me, that you're cheating on me», etc.» Part of their pattern was accusation
of negative intentions and behaviors, which elicited angry, defensive rebuttals leading to a negative loop that exacerbated the hurt, pain and disconnection.
Facebook says it takes pains to ensure developers who use its APIs do so appropriately, but as the Cambridge Analytica story shows, companies
with negative intentions can still find ways around the policies.
We are also more likely to feel ignored,
see negative intentions where there truly are none and be overly critical (or worse, contemptuous) of our partners.
Distressed couples are often so ruled
by negative intentions and the desire to protect themselves or to hurt the other person, that they either ignore or do not recognize each other's repair attempts.
So, it doesn't necessarily start out
with negative intentions, but it is the belief that a particular type of breed is causing issues in a town or a city and therefore they believed that that dog should be eradicated or muzzled, depending on what city we are talking about.
While you may not have had
any negative intentions in what you said, when writing on a message board, the only thing perceived is your words, tone and intent factor very little.
The owner is perhaps trying to calm potential fears that their dog has
negative intentions, because maybe that other owner or dog looks nervous.
In other cases, catastrophic injury may be the result of
the negative intentions of another individual or company that purposely harms the victim and causes permanent disability.
Perseverance is the ability to deflect all
those negative intentions.
Following Thibaut and Kelley's 1959 book The Social Psychology of Groups, I built a device called a «talk table,» in which people could interact and also rate how positive or
negative their intentions were and how positive or negative were the impacts of the messages they received.
They built a device called a «talk table,» in which people could interact and also rate how positive or
negative their intentions were and how positive or negative were the impacts of the messages they received.
In this mode of operating, you are often searching for
the negative intention in what your partner is saying, and are inclined to choose the worst possible interpretation of their actions.
Act with positive intentions to create understanding, to show respect, and to find win - win solutions, instead of acting on your immediate,
negative intentions and fears.
Some couples are so entrenched in
negative intentions and attitudes that they are either unwilling to use what they know or somehow they use communication techniques in ways that make matters worse.
Zingers hurt relationships even if we are convinced that they do no harm — even if we are convinced that we have
no negative intentions behind using them!