Despite these unique challenges, research shows that
nonmonogamous people have highly secure bonds with their partners (Jenks, 1985), that female partners feel more free and unhindered by patriarchal expectations (Stelboum, 1999), and relationship satisfaction actually improves (Weitzman, Davidson, & Phillips, 2009).
You just can't lump every consensual
nonmonogamous person into a little box, nor can you lump poly people into being «in the lifestyle.»
Not exact matches
That said, I spent months researching consensual
nonmonogamous relationships for The New I Do and spoke to numerous
people who opened up their marriage or who chose it from the get - go because they'd never even consider getting married without monogamy being discussed and mutually agreed to, and even I know that being in a consensually
nonmonogamous relationship hardly has «loose confines» — most
people who mutually agree to choose it have explicit agreements on what's OK and what's not OK; even if they don't, successfully navigating it requires a lot of communication and transparency.
On the popular dating site OkCupid, couples seeking other partners can link their profiles; users can filter their searches for
people who label themselves «
nonmonogamous.»
If this is the mainstream view of monogamy, it's no wonder that
people involved in
nonmonogamous relationships and those who are considering opening their relationships tend to avoid couples therapists like the plague.