All the studies of middle - class marriages show that companionship, the hallmark
of the egalitarian marriage, is one of the most important ingredients for a successful marriage, especially for the wife, no matter what criterion or index is used to measure success.
And contrary to everything you've heard from the complementarian camp, in nearly 13 years
of egalitarian marriage we've never reached that big, bad hypothetical impasse in which we simply can not agree and need someone to play a gender - based trump card to prevent paralysis.
And I know I've already shared this one... like, twice already... but Sarah Bessey's «In Which Love Looks Like Real Marriage» is one of the most beautiful depictions
of egalitarian marriage I've ever encountered: «Well, who is in charge here?
Of course, even simply scientifically, we know that there are millions
of egalitarian marriages that «work» very well.
Not exact matches
Christine Schwartz, an associate professor at the University
of Wisconsin in Madison who studies the relationship between
marriage and inequality, said one factor seems to be a growing preference toward
egalitarian marriage.
Spurred by findings
of a paper by Sabrino Kornrich, Julie Brines and Katarina Leupp published in the American Sociological Review, the article argues that, «too much similarity in
egalitarian marriages leads to boredom and decreased sexual frequency».
If I'm honest, I've seen this sort
of humility and service reflected in
egalitarian marriages, and I've seen this sort
of humility and service reflected in more complementarian / patriarchal
marriages.
Obviously, I'm a big advocate for mutual submission in
marriage, as that is what I believe those biblical passages ultimately teach and this is what works best in our
marriage, but more important than adopting a single household model — either patriarchal or
egalitarian — is adopting the posture
of Jesus Christ, who emptied himself
of power and took the role
of servant.
From Kim: As an
egalitarian, how do you define the characteristics
of woman - femininity and men - masculinity and what does this look like in a Christian
marriage.
A successful mainline approach to family ministry would be distinguished by its emphasis on
egalitarian gender roles and — given the
egalitarian trajectory
of mainline churches — its eventual incorporation
of gay
marriage.
I think
marriage, particularly
of the exalted,
egalitarian model now being pursued, is impossible.
I'm a thoroughly liberated beneficiary
of the feminist movement, complete with a blossoming career, an
egalitarian marriage, and a messy house.
The right to gossip about the famous and the powerful — be they a Hollywood star who sniffs cocaine or a big church pastor who cheated on his
marriage — may be the stiff price our
egalitarian society extracts from those who rise to the top
of the heap.
It started a couple
of days ago when I popped off on my Facebook page about how much I wished there was a really great
marriage conference for people whose
marriages are more like our own — theologians call it «
egalitarian» meaning that we believe in a
marriage of equals, that we are co-leaders and our
marriage is more about lifting each other up and following Jesus together as one.
We intend to put together a post
of resources for
egalitarian or mutually - submissive
marriages within the next week or two based on your input.
Sometimes I fear we have
marriages that are functionally
egalitarian, because they are within the structure
of the larger society.
Even though Dan and I were both raised in a complementarian culture, our
marriage was «functionally
egalitarian» long before we began reevaluating our interpretation
of those passages
of Scripture so often used to support hierarchal - based gender roles.
In light
of a few things that happened
of late — the Supreme Court's ruling on
marriage for same - sex couples, the addition
of the word cisgender into the Oxford English Dictionary, the rise
of the transgender movement, with Germany leading the way for parents to register their baby as something other than just boy or girl, the increase in stay - at home dads and
egalitarian marriages, universities recognizing a third gender, the desire by some to be called they versus he or she, the declaration that 2015 is the year
of the gender - neutral baby, it's clear we are moving toward a society that is busting up traditional views
of gender and what men and women, husbands and wives, fathers and mothers look and act like.
According to Harvard Business School, which recently released the results
of a survey that examined the career paths
of 25,000 alumni, the women grads expected that their
marriages would be
egalitarian.
... Acceptance
of polyamory or plural
marriage would have to include women having the freedom to marry or be with more than one, and it is likely that just as monogamous
marriage has evolved to be more
egalitarian so would plural
marriage when it is out
of the shadows and no longer hidden.
Still, the authors say if we remove the white, middle - class blinders
of marriage, we'd see aspects
of black
marriages that are «
egalitarian, empowering and pioneering,» and that could potentially «undo gender.»
And while many do propose, there aren't a lot
of compelling reasons if they're already cohabiting; since cohabitation is typically more gender
egalitarian than
marriage, men don't have to be the breadwinner — more cohabiting women have jobs than their partners — and he still has someone to clean the house and his clothes (yes, cohabiting women tend to do more
of that than the guys).
I've talked about the problems
of being a wife before (something Oprah seems to understand), and how instead
of having the
egalitarian marriage couples say they want, they still end up with a «his» and «hers»
marriage (and for black couples, it's even more challenging).
«These trends are consistent with a shift away from a breadwinner - homemaker model
of marriage toward a more
egalitarian model
of marriage in which women's status is less threatening to men's gender identity.»
If you scored below an average
of three, you tend to desire an
egalitarian marriage, sharing both financial and domestic / child care responsibilities.
The notion
of love as passion, so much at the core
of Surrealism, has evolved with the sociological changes
of intimacy toward a tension between romantic love versus
marriage and the attempt to build a new form
of relationship based on a more
egalitarian exchange, that we could call «amour convergent» or «pure relationship», thanks to the battles
of feminism and new intimacy, as discussed in «The Transformation
of intimacy» from sociologist Anthony Giddens.
Study after study has shown that
egalitarian marriages — which often involve dual careers and always encompass shared housework and decision - making — unequivocally lead to higher rates
of marital satisfaction for both sexes than do «traditional»
marriages, based on hierarchy and a strict division
of roles.
«We found that
egalitarian couples have less frequent sex but report happy
marriages and have levels
of sexual satisfaction that are comparable to «old - school» husbands and wives,» she says.
Studies
of marital relationships are fairly consistent in indicating that husbands have greater power than their wives, though the research also indicates a change toward
egalitarian marriage.
But these studies relied on data from the 1980s and early 1990s, and thus represented
marriages formed before the recent surge in dual - earner families and social approval
of egalitarian gender roles.
At Peace Talks, we recognize the reality that we are living in a world where not everyone has the same
egalitarian view
of same - sex
marriage.