Only a minority
of unhappy spouses who divorced or separated had entered a happier second marriage five years later.
Ninety - five percent
of unhappy spouses who stayed married reported the wife did not hit the husband, compared to 80 percent
of unhappy spouses who later divorced or separated.
However, the overwhelming majority of both groups
of unhappy spouses reported no physical violence in the home.
Almost two - thirds
of unhappy spouses who stuck with the marriage forged happy marriages down the road.
Five years later, the overwhelming majority
of unhappy spouses (93 percent) who stayed married reported that none of their arguments had become physical (compared to 96 percent of happily married adults).
Unhappy spouses, for example, were about twice as likely as happily married adults to report that arguments had become physical (14 percent
of unhappy spouses versus eight percent of happy spouses).
For example: Fifty - four percent
of unhappy spouses were women, compared to 49 percent of happily married spouses; nine percent of unhappily married spouses were black, compared to six percent of happy spouses.
Sixty - four percent
of unhappy spouses had children under 18 in the home, compared to 54 percent of happy spouses.
Eighty - five percent
of unhappy spouses who stayed married and 77 percent
of unhappy spouses who divorced reported in the initial interview that none of their arguments had gotten physical.
Next we looked at subgroups
of unhappy spouses who divorced.
Seventy - nine percent of happy spouses were employed, compared to 74 percent
of unhappy spouses.
Most unhappy spouses who stuck with their marriages ended up happily married: Sixty - four percent
of unhappy spouses who avoided divorce ended up happily married five years later.
However, marital violence occurred in only a minority of unhappy marriages: Twenty - one percent of unhappily married adults who divorced reported husband - to - wife violence compared to nine percent
of unhappy spouses who stayed married.
Twenty - one percent
of unhappy spouses who ended up divorced had reported husband - to - wife violence, compared to nine percent
of unhappy spouses who stayed married.
Only about a quarter
of unhappy spouses were married to a spouse who also reported being unhappily married.
However, the vast majority of unhappily married adults reported no domestic violence in the home: Eighty - six percent
of unhappy spouses reported that none of their arguments had become physical; 88 percent said the husband did not hit the wife; 87 percent reported the wife did not hit the husband.
Five years is a fairly short time frame, however, and the number
of unhappy spouses in these data who had divorced and remarried by that point is small.
Not exact matches
And whether you own 100 percent
of your business or your
unhappy spouse is also your business partner, you may find yourself having to sell assets or take on debt to break up the company you worked so hard to build.
That book's grim findings suggest that the search
of many
unhappy spouses for personal fulfillment is at war with the needs
of children.
Although male clergy may stoically view this fact as simply part
of the job, their
spouses are often
unhappy as a result.
Although
unhappy spouses are as much a part
of the world
of female clergy as they are
of male clergy, married women clergy are not subject to the same level
of financial stress as their male colleagues.
So either the marriage experiences stress and breaks up, or it experiences stress and stays together, achieving some kind
of truce that involves one
spouse or the other capitulating in some areas, but which leaves both parties feeling lonely and
unhappy.
They don't consciously choose their marriage and their
spouse; they stay in sexless, loveless,
unhappy marriages that are full
of anger and contempt because
of the kids or because they're afraid
of what they'll lose in a divorce or out
of lethargy or because they value commitment over their
spouse — thus they can treat him or her like crap but still feel proud that they're keeping their commitment.
So a 1991 study
of marriages that were
unhappy and in which
spouses did not consider divorce concludes, rather gloomily, that future research should «focus on... possible consequences for being in an
unhappy marriage for which one sees no real alternative.»
Perhaps the most common story the
spouses we interviewed told us is that marriages become
unhappy because
of outside stressors.
«What we found is that folks who are somewhat
unhappy with their
spouse... then that's the effect that you find, so when they're less aroused or distressed during conversation, that's associated with greater likelihood
of a good outcome,» he said.
«How you met your
spouse is only one
of many reasons for why a couple eventually ends up
unhappy or divorced,» he writes.
As a Certified Financial Planner, Hutchinson has seen this real life Michelle and Robert situation, when a client's finances were affected because the
spouse who had agreed to pay the remainder
of the loan in her name became
unhappy with the rest
of the divorce process and stopped making payments.
I spend a bit
of time talking folks in long - term marriages out
of separating from a
spouse with whom they are
unhappy.
While social desirability bias could lead some
spouses to increase their ratings
of their marriage, it would also have biased people not to have made such low rating in the first place, unless they were truly
unhappy at the time
of the first survey.
Unhappy spouses who divorced or separated actually showed a somewhat higher number
of depressive symptoms, compared to unhappily married
spouses who stayed married.
Some
of the most
unhappy spouses are the ones who married someone hoping they would change.
[20] The results tell us about how divorce or staying married changed levels
of well - being for
unhappy spouses, controlling for initial levels
of emotional and psychological well - being.
But in other respects, in the ways we were able to measure,
unhappy spouses who divorced and
unhappy spouses who stayed married looked more similar than different: Before the divorce, they reported similar levels
of personal happiness, personal mastery, and self - esteem.
In most respects,
unhappy spouses who divorced and
unhappy spouses who stayed married looked more similar than different (before the divorce) in terms
of their psychological adjustment and family background.
Unhappy spouses showed more symptoms
of psychological distress than happy
spouses.
Using the National Survey
of Families and Households (a nationally representative survey), we looked at all
spouses (645
spouses out
of 5,232 married adults) who in the late»80s rated their marriages as
unhappy.
While a majority
of spouses became happy five years later,
unhappy husbands were somewhat more likely than
unhappy wives to become happier down the road, as were childless marriages, compared to marriages with children (including stepchildren).
Were
unhappy spouses who later divorced or separated more likely to be victims
of high conflict or violent marriages than those who stayed married?
Unhappy spouses often report a lack
of intimacy.
Unhappy and unsatisfaction
of married will make
spouse so reluctant to give emotional social - support to her husband in running his business, and vice versa.
If your
spouse is not cooperating in the divorce process, you may think you have no options to get out
of an
unhappy marriage.
If your
spouse is not cooperating in the divorce process, you may think you have no options to get out
of an
unhappy...
Unless a
spouse is unfaithful, abusive, addictive or abandoning, Sharilee Swaity urges an
unhappy husband or wife to think long and hard before going for divorce, and she offers a number
of reasons.
Keep the focus on improving your relationship and becoming better partners — not on accusing your
spouse of making you
unhappy.
It takes a little bit
of detective work to discover what makes your
spouse happy — and which things make them very
unhappy as well.
Many
unhappy spouses have been waiting for this law to become a reality and New York's divorce attorneys can expect an influx
of new cases in their offices over the next 6 months to a year.
«Those who are in
unhappy relationships may dread the new status quo and the prospect
of living alone with a
spouse they can't stand anymore,» says McNeil.
Rapini cites a study that shows a telltale sign
of an
unhappy marriage is when one
spouse begins to worry about being compatible or overstate the importance
of compatibility for a good marriage.
Tagged Authentic Happiness, Barbara Sher, character trait survey, Divorce, failing marriage, Family, finding happiness in marriage, happy marriage, Love, Marriage, marriage advice, prevent divorce, sudden death
of spouse,
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