around midnight i began to question my decision to have a home birth, & maria was getting tired... she called in a second midwife for support & my doula arrived from another birth... i was afraid
of the power - i hadn't felt it like this in kayenn's birth... i was afraid that i would come apart - even though i had to - i know now that coming apart is a part
of the process... someplace in the middle
of this birth i realized that i did not know how to do this - i was acting against the birth process - literally & emotionally... i had a mental idea
of what it should look, sound,
smell, be like... after some hours maria checked me again, i had been at 9 cm for 4 hours... she said to me, «some babies can come through at 9 cm, but yours will not, sokhna... sokhna, you are going to have to fight to bring this baby
out... go into the
bathroom, get in the shower & work it
out... «so i did... i went in the cold
bathroom alone & remembered every cold detail
of kayenn's birth... i wondered if i could get to the hospital on time to have an emergency c - section & i began to cry... & as i cried i had to go to the
bathroom - i sat on the toilet & the rushes came down like nothing i can explain - but they didn't hurt - it was just POWER!
► An abandoned house is surrounded by workmen and a woman, all
of whom have their shirts covering their nose and mouth because they say the
smell of human feces is bad inside; one man covers his mouth and nose, chokes and coughs, enters the house and finds feces all over the
bathroom walls, toilet and
bathroom floors, as well as throughout a hallway to the front door and one wall contains the words «Kill Bankers»; he runs
out, vomits (we see dark goo), he drinks water and spits some water
out and then persuades a few men and the woman outside to begin to clean up the mess and the scene ends.