It's this kind of irrational
idealization that leads people to stay with
partners who are abusive or negligent, to give up on their own needs and identities, to make themselves into imaginary martyrs who are perpetually miserable, to suppress their own pain and suffering in the name of maintaining a relationship «until death do us part.»
If there are serious problems with your relationship already, for example, then thinking that your
partner will live up to your ideal standards may only hasten the demise of your relationship.7 For instance, if there are serious trust issues between you and your
partner, or one of you has troubling money management habits, you're probably better off opting out of
idealization, and going with a more realistic evaluation of your
partner.