Hamlet would start seeing a counsellor — perhaps Polonius, who dabbles in the
self - help industry himself, would
recommend someone — and come to terms with his bereavement and realise that it's OK for his mother to have sex with her new husband (although there'd be no «rank sweat of an enseamed bed» or anything icky like that) and he'd go back to university
happy, having now accepted the change in his family circumstances, with Ophelia in tow.