As a Denver area relationship therapist and dating psychologist, I see several different types
of relationship dances that affect the way people conduct themselves within relationships.
Several years ago, it occurred to me that technology is creating opportunities to
improve relationship dances that never existed before.
is following a mission in life is an expert in his own chosen field is interested in other countries is driven by love, contribution, growth and variety knows what he wants in
a relationship dances Latin very well..
Unlike other approaches to couple therapy, Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT), developed by Sue Johnson, Ph.D., pays profound attention to the emotions both partners have around their longing for love and connection (seeing all the moves in
the relationship dance from an attachment framework as I've described in my other articles).
In EFT you learn about the moments when you hurt each other in
your relationship dance, and how to keep your emotional balance in these moments.
You will probably have to make some changes in your role in
your relationship dance.
As Certified EFT trained therapist and Supervisor, I am attending to the patterns, the emotions, the cycles, and the steps each partner takes in
the relationship dance.
EFT therapists are skilled at honing in on the underlying music of a couple's
relationship dance.
One of the terms that Sue Johnson, world renowned expert on couples counseling, uses to describe the work of a couples counselor is as a «choreographer, helping couples to restructure
their relationship dance» (Johnson, 2004, p. 12).
Since, as the saying goes, «it takes two to tango», this kind of change in
the relationship dance must involve a team effort.
Your relationship dance does not have to be perfect or even near perfect (to expect perfection is just a set - up for major disappointment).
I don't view couple interactions as «right» or «wrong»; each partner has a part in
the relationship dance.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) will help you learn about the moments when you hurt each other in
your relationship dance, and how you can keep your emotional balance in these moments.
We repeat old patterns without realizing we are performing
the relationship dance of the past.
You are unique, your spouse is unique, and
the relationship dance, the two of you have been dancing is unique too.
I've worked with many couples over the years in counseling who thought discovering
their relationship dance was extremely helpful.
Steps To Change Unhealthy
Relationship Dance In Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), the first step for couples to change unhealthy relationship dance is to see it and own it.
We recently received this email from one of our clients who beautifully articulates the power of being vulnerable and the clarity that can accompany new insight into our own steps of
the relationship dance:
Taking responsibility for your part in your «
relationship dance» can help stop the negative patterns of relating that have become entrenched over time.