It's vital for children to form
a secure attachment to their mother.
Research from the University of Minnesota has shown that children age 2 and up who lack
secure attachments to their mothers have higher rushes of cortisol during even mildly stressful events, such as getting a vaccination shot, than do youngsters with strong parental bonds.
If they don't form that all - important
secure attachment to their mother, or if it is worn away by constant handovers from one parent to the other without a sense of a secure home in the background, the break - up will leave them vulnerable to lifelong feelings of insecurity and anxiety.
It's vital for children to form
a secure attachment to their mother.
The results of Ainsworth's research challenged traditional notions regarding the mother - child bond and demonstrated that infants who are fed on demand and comforted when crying, rather than adhering to a particular routine, tend to develop
secure attachments to their mothers.
Children generally develop healthy,
secure attachments to mothers who competently and regularly respond to the child's needs by, for example, feeding the child when the child cries.
Studies show that babies whose needs are responded to on a consistent basis have what experts call
a secure attachment to their mother or whoever is taking care of them most of the time.
What is the most important influence in determining whether infants and young children develop
secure attachments to their mothers?
Not exact matches
It promotes practices that are not scientifically linked
to secure attachments but that do keep
mothers securely attached
to their homes.
Therefore in order
to support
secure attachments between
mother - and - child and father - and - child, the needs, experiences and behaviour of both parents must be addressed.
Every
mother and father should study this theory, at least briefly,
to understand the importance of
secure attachment in their baby's life.
Appropriate mind - minded comments have been linked with
secure attachments to fathers as well as
mothers (Lundy 2003).
They have drunk the Sears Kool - Aid that 24/7 nursing, holding, «bonding» with your baby is the only way
to secure the
mother baby
attachment.
The
secure attachment denoted that the infant sought and received protection, the avoidant
attachment denoted that the infant pulled away from the
mother, and the resistant
attachment denoted that the infant always stayed close
to their
mother.
From API's perspective, the less complicated childbirth is, the easier it is
to establish that
mother - infant bond that eventually blossoms into a
secure parent - child
attachment.
Mothering the
mother is not a new concept, it is an ancient and traditional way of caring for the
mother and new baby, ensuring a smooth transition
to motherhood, and allowing the space for feeding
to be established and
secure attachments to be made.
While
mothers are more likely
to form
secure attachments by comforting their children when they are distressed, fathers are more likely
to provide security in the context of the controlled excitement of play or discipline.
Research on resilient children indicates that they need only one
secure attachment figure
to be successful, and it can be a
mother, father, relative, or other caring adult.
Nature, through the nurturing hormones, gives a hand
to mothers in creating
secure attachments with their babies.
This uncertainty creates even more stress and anxiety for the breastfeeding and working - away - from - home
mother for she knows the important role breastfeeding plays in a
secure attachment in addition
to the numerous health benefits.
Babies and toddlers who have developed
secure attachments with caregivers — who have come
to trust, through prior experience, that these adults are available and sensitive
to their needs — use these caregivers as
mother ships from which
to explore the world.
When
mothers relate well
to their babies and understand their behavior, they have a more
secure infant - caregiver
attachment and later ability
to understand others» thoughts and feelings.
I spent some time writing about this in «Good Night, Sleep Tight ``, but I thought it would be helpful
to write more about how
to create a balanced,
secure mother - baby
attachment with your child.
It highlights the importance of good maternal mental health so that the
mother can be sensitive
to the baby's emotions and needs, helping the baby
to develop
secure attachment.
At the same time, however, our white American
mothers were losing the significance of breastfeeding — that is central
to not only infant and child health, but also the
mother - infant bond and the beginnings of
secure family
attachments.
Breastfeeding is the ultimate teacher in what a
secure attachment relationship looks like — the give and take of a healthy relationship —
to a new
mother.
The first months of the baby's life the focus is largely on the
mother - baby unit while as the baby grows older more ways are introduced
to let the father or other caregivers form
secure attachments as well.
What I've noticed is that while breastfeeding is very convenient once established and offers many physical and mental benefits
to mother and child, a
secure attachment can be formed without it.
Being empathetic
to our children's feelings and experiences helps us
to be emotionally connected, and according
to research, «adolescents who reported
secure attachments primarily with the
mother, but also with the father, reported greater ability
to empathize with another's situation.»
Dr. Lannon describes good
mothering which leads
to secure attachment and explains the profound implications of the importance of optimally tuning in
to a child.
The reasoning behind this proposition is that: A) EBHV programs are designed
to serve women categorized as «at - risk» due
to a variety of demographic factors, including single - parent household status, age at time of first pregnancy, being categorically undereducated, under or unemployed, and meeting federal standards of living at or below the poverty line; B) these programs serve women during pregnancy and / or shortly after the birth of their children, offering an excellent chance for the early prevention of trauma exposure; and C) intervention services are provided at the same times that
attachment (whether
secure or insecure) is being developed between
mothers and children, providing the opportunity that generational risk may be mitigated.
Mothers most vulnerable
to these risk factors are able
to learn valuable coping and response skills via participation in early intervention programs, and are subsequently more likely
to foster and manage
secure attachments to their infants, particularly if program enrollment occurs during pregnancy (Rubin et al., 2001).
The effect of the nurses and paraprofessionals on responsive
mother - child interaction indicates that the program was operating as intended in helping parents provide more sensitive and responsive care for their children, which is thought
to promote
secure attachment and healthy emotional and behavioral development.49 The reductions in subsequent pregnancies and increases in interpregnancy intervals are particularly important as short interpregnancy intervals increase the risk of child maltreatment (including infant homicide among teen parents) 50 and compromise families» economic self - sufficiency.51
If the foster
mother has a
secure / autonomous
attachment pattern, the young child placed will adapt
to that pattern.
Don't get me wrong, as a marriage and family therapist and a
mother myself, I am fully aware of the importance of inclusivity and attention required
to create a
secure attachment between parent and child.
In early childhood development,
attachment is so important that a lack of connection
to a
secure attachment figure (most likely the
mother, father, or other major caregiver) who was reliable and available results in physical alterations
to the anatomy and chemistry of the brain, such as reduced brain activity and less developed cortexes.
The researchers found that the individuals who received the most sensitive care from their
mothers at 18 months old also reported the most
secure attachment to friends and romantic partners in early adulthood.
Although adolescent
mothers with more education, less parenting stress, and higher social support satisfaction are more likely
to have
secure attachment patterns with their children (Emery, Pacquette, & Bigras, 2008), evidence suggests that in general, young
mothers tend
to be less responsive
to their infants than older
mothers, have fewer positive interactions, and vocalize less with their infants (Borkowski, Farris, Whitman, Carothers, Weed, & Keogh, 2007; Culp, Appelbaum, Osofsky, & Levy, 1988; Tarabulsy, Moran, Pederson, Provost, & Larose, 2011).
As parents, adolescent
mothers and their children have been identified as more vulnerable
to developing less
secure attachment patterns than older
mothers and their children (Emery, Paquette, & Bigras, 2008; Van Ijzendoorn, Schuengel, & Bakermans - Kranenburg, 1999).
Studies of Child Care Settings
Mothers who are responsive and sensitive — that is, who respond consistently and appropriately
to their child's social bids and initiate interactions geared
to the child's capacities, intentions, moods, goals, and developmental level — are most likely
to have children with
secure maternal
attachments (Belsky, Rovine, and Taylor, 1984).
Several theorists have argued that a more
secure attachment relationship will also allow for more fluid communication between
mother and child, as children begin
to explore the boundaries of both their external and internal world through language (Bretherton & Mulholland, 1999; Thompson, 2000).
Studies have shown repeatedly that maternal depression is linked with less optimal parenting and less
secure mother - child
attachment.5, 15,16 Depressed
mothers are more likely
to be inconsistent, lax, withdrawn or intrusive, and ineffective in their parenting and child discipline behaviour.
The
secure attachment denoted that the infant sought and received protection, the avoidant
attachment denoted that the infant pulled away from the
mother, and the resistant
attachment denoted that the infant always stayed close
to their
mother.
However,
secure attachments only occur with 50 percent of caregivers as opposed
to 70 percent of
mothers.
Sroufe has found that even though these children lead unstable lives, if they had a
secure mother - infant
attachment they were likely
to be self - reliant into adolescence, have lower rates of psychopathology, enjoy successful peer relationships through age 16 and do well in school - especially in math - at all ages.
There, social and developmental research psychologists not only observed
mothers and babies, but began
to study the long - term effects of
secure and insecure
attachment on adolescents and adults.
Hopefully at this point, the child will be
secure enough
to briefly venture from the
mother and begin
to develop other interactions and
attachments (Bowlby, 1969).
An important development in challenging the assumption that
mothers needed
to be at home full - time was the discovery that quality was more important than quantity in forming
secure attachments between caregivers and their children.
Children with
secure attachments demonstrated a strong
attachment to the
mother, while children with insecure
attachments exhibited a variety of unusual and unhealthy reactions, including becoming angry with the
mother upon her return.
The following features of parenting behavior are especially valuable
to assess because they reveal information about the parent — child
attachment relationship (Bowlby, 1988): how a
mother comforts her child when the child is ill, hurt, or frightened; how she reads and responds
to her children's cues; whether and how she prioritizes her children's needs; and whether she values the child and helps the child
to feel safe and
secure.