Yet if abusiveness seems to be a problem in your relationship, the best way to neutralize it is to stop
seeing arguments with your spouse as a way to retaliate or exhibit your superior moral stance.
This is one reason why some
spouses would rather have a root canal than get into conflict — they've
seen too many occasions where marital
arguments were akin to playing full - contact American football
with no referee, no safety equipment, and no commitment to a set of rules.