It's probably because Husband was so thingy about pork products — he'd always hassle me to remind hosts because they'd invariably serve it up (
my sister made a habit of it when my marriage started to crumble, bless her).
I've known Jesus for as long as I've known my name, and still I use other people like capital to advance my own interest, still I gossip to
make myself feel important, still I curse my brothers and
sisters in one breath and sing praise songs in the next, still I sit in church with arms folded and cynicism coursing through my bloodstream, still I talk a big game about caring for the poor without doing much to change my own
habits, still I indulge in food I'm not hungry for and jewelry I don't need, still I obsess over what people say about me on the internet, still I forget my own privilege, still I talk more than I listen and complain more than I thank, still I commit acts
of evil, still I
make a great commenter on Christianity and a lousy practitioner
of it.