• Will
your spouse go to marriage counseling (and really participate in the counseling, not just sit there like a lump)?
Not exact matches
Just like we wouldn't separate from our
spouses without first trying
to make our
marriages better with
counseling, etc., maybe we can better evaluate our participation in our present church family before
going elsewhere.
I have seen too many
marriages destroyed because the husband (or the wife)
goes to their cross-gender friend
to let off a little steam about their
spouse,
to get a little support and
counsel from their friend.
If you are
going to tell your
spouse you want a divorce, say so politely and directly (and only after attempting
to repair the
marriage with
counseling and other techniques).
If you and your
spouse have decided
to go for
marriage counseling, you are no doubt looking forward
to seeing some changes for the better in your relationship.
Couples who commit
to marriage therapy after
going through discernment
counseling will have identified the core areas that each
spouse needs
to work on, thereby focusing the therapy on what each person needs
to change.
Once you know why your
spouse does not want
to go to marriage counseling, you can find a better angle
to make your case for why
counseling is beneficial.
But if your
spouse has left the house, started a new relationship, and served you with divorce papers, you are not helping yourself or your family by trying
to force him or her
to go to marriage counseling.
Meanwhile, their
spouse (in this case, you) get all hopeful because you think you're
going to marriage counseling to actually work on your
marriage.
It's almost impossible
to get unwilling
spouses to go to a
marriage counseling therapists session with you, unless they are ordered by the court.
If your
spouse won't
go to counseling, ask if he is willing
to do anything
to save the
marriage.
Sometimes, people agree
to go to marriage counseling because they believe that doing so will make it easier for them
to tell their
spouse they want a divorce.
Many of the
spouses who
went to counseling at the request of their
spouse felt very strongly that the decision
to end the
marriage had already been made.
In the meantime, your
spouse may continue
to try
to get you
to go to marriage counseling, couples» retreats, and any other program that might possibly repair your
marriage.
Among couples seeking a divorce, one third report that they did not
go to marriage counseling because their
spouse was unwilling
to go.
Follow that up by simply offering that one idea might be
to go to marriage counseling, and be open
to other solutions suggested by your
spouse.
• You
went to marriage counseling or couples
counseling before and it didn't work or your
spouse didn't like it.
Most people who
go to marriage counseling are secretly hoping the therapist will change their
spouse, says Harriet Lerner, PhD.
If you are currently married but you've never
gone to a
marriage counseling session before, here are five (other) reasons why it could end up being one of the best investments that you could ever make in your relationship with your
spouse.
Traditional
marriage counseling tends
to be ineffective because the counselor either expects both parties
to work on the relationship — rendering the leaning out
spouse, the uncooperative one — or encourages the hopeful
spouse to just let
go of the
marriage — leaving that individual feeling undercut and angry.
If you and your
spouse have been
going through the day -
to - day of
marriage without really communicating or connecting, while you both might sense that something is wrong, you might not realize just how wrong until you're in a
counseling session.
So many times it seems someone in a relationship or
marriage has been asking
to go to counseling for so long and their
spouse or partner was not willing.
I really like the message this article sends: just b / c your
spouse won't
go to counseling doesn't mean that your
marriage is
going to end.
The problem is that, while you may want
to go to marriage counseling, if your
spouse isn't committed
to it, you won't accomplish anything.
If your
spouse won't
go to marriage counseling, you might feel betrayed or unwanted, but pushing your
spouse into
counseling against his or her will can be just as damaging as the problems that led you
to therapy in the first place.
The offending
spouse, rather than
going to couples
counseling, tries
to fix the
marriage by having a relationship that makes up for what is missing in the
marriage.
If you are the
spouse who is thinking of divorce,
going to marriage counseling may not be appealing.
Spouses who are having problems but delay
going to marriage counseling Chevy Chase MD couples recommend, stay stuck in an unhappy place in their
marriage for a long time.
You are not alone if you are unsure of the reasons why
counseling could be a benefit
to you and your
spouse when everything in your
marriage is
going well.