Although it may often be best for the courts to reduce
the targeting parents time with the children so his / her influence is minimized, in many situations this isn't done.
Not exact matches
If the
child becomes symptomatic,
with the presumed cause being the pathogenic
parenting coalition
with the allied
parent, then the
child's
time with the allied pathogenic
parent is reduced in order to reduce the pathogenic influence of the allied
parent who is creating the
child's symptoms, and the
child's
time with the
targeted - rejected
parent is increased to provide more treatment - related
time with the
targeted parent to restore the
parent -
child bond of shared affection that is being damaged by the pathogenic
parenting of the allied psychologically abusive
parent.
At the Moderate stage, even though there are problems
with visitation and at
times behavior, there still is some sort of a bond between the
child and the
targeted parent.
For example, in a survey of
parents who are
targets of alienation, Baker and Darnell4 found that
targeted parents reported that alienators interfered
with parenting time (e.g., scheduled appointments or frequently called during the other
parent's
parenting time), interfered
with contact
with the
children (e.g., intercepted phone messages or email), interfered
with symbolic contact like gift giving (e.g., threw away gifts or sent them back), did not inform them about important information (e.g., school activities, doctor appointments), threatened to take
children away from the them, and formed unhealthy alliances
with the
children such as having had their
children spy and report back information to the alienating
parent, or sending cell phones
with children to call the alienating
parent from the
target parent's home.
One sanction that can be considered is to actually increase the
parenting time the
targeted parent has
with the
children.
The range may be from
children who experience significant discomfort at transition
times (mild), through
children who feel compelled to keep separate worlds and identities when
with each
parent (moderate), to
children who refuse to have anything to do
with the
target parent and become obsessed
with their hatred (severe).
In spite of all of the other details provided by the evaluation, which supported the need for the
children to be almost exclusively
with the
targeted parent, the Judge decided to split the
time equally between the
parents, which keeps them in the middle.
Over
time, however, once the eldest
child has psychologically surrendered to the psychopathology of the narcissistic / (borderline)
parent, the focus of both the narcissistic / (borderline)
parent and the eldest
child then becomes turned toward inducing the same pathology in the younger siblings, until eventually all the
children are induced into cutting off their relationships
with the
targeted parent.
Why doesn't the
child remember all the good
times with the
targeted parent?
Parents complete homework assignments between each training session, including such assignments as counting the
child behaviors which they seek to change, applying praise and other such skills three
times a day to interaction
with the
target child, applying and charting the impact of the use of various skills, and creating and using a home special incentive system.
The defense mechanisms constructed to support the alienation take
time to be broken through: they involve denying that the alienating
parent is selfish and manipulative, denying that the
targeted parent has positive qualities, denying that the
child wants a relationship
with the
targeted parent, denying that the
child is afraid of losing the love of the alienating
parent.
All access is denied (at least for a period of
time) to enable the
target parent to re-establish a relationship
with the
child free from the alienator
parent continuing to undermine that relationship.
First, rather than relying on short term reports of family or parental functioning in determining
targets for intervention, clinicians would be wise to evaluate patterns of
parent —
child interaction over
time with repeated assessments, as individual or family functioning at any one point in
time may not be reflective of enduring patterns of behavioral or relational functioning.
However, by combining a mindfulness - based program for
children with ASD
with mindful
parenting training for their
parents, all these aspects are
targeted at the same
time.
Additionally,
target parents involved in these difficult cases find that every minute of their spare
time is spent preparing legal documents, worrying about whether the next visitation
with their
child will occur, and managing increasing frustration at not being able to resolve their problems.