I, like Megan, also am saddened when I see spanking being likened to abusive parenting — there are many
who spank their children as Megan said, as a thoughtful, controlled part of their parenting, making sure the child knows why they are being spanked, and making sure the parent is calm and collected.
Not exact matches
On the bottom of the spiritual food chain are the
children,
who are told to submit to their fathers in the annual Father's Day sermon, in Sunday School, in Care Group, in the home during «corrections» (
spankings).
According to Giberson and Stephens, you might be an anti-intellectual fundamentalist if you are an evangelical
who: dismisses evolution as «an unproven theory»; deny that «climate change is real and caused by humans»; think that «the founders were evangelicals
who intended America to be a Christian nation»; defend
spanking children; believe in traditional roles for the sexes; think that reparative therapy can «cure» homosexuality; and / or oppose gay marriage.
Not only b / c it glorifies
spanking, but because of the judgment in blatantly makes about parents
who DO N'T
spank their
children.
do the
children of parents
who use controlled
spanking accept their punishment and offer up their hand or rear to be swatted?
But
children who were more aggressive at 2 were not more likely to get
spanked.
I sometimes wonder
who the
child is in that moment... me or one of them... I have yet to
spank.
I think that
children who are
spanked are more likely to grow up into adults that
spank because of the argument, «I got
spanked and I turned out OK.»
Like I said earlier, ultimately it is up to the parent to decide the best way to discipline his / her
child, but there are alternatives to
spanking for those
who desire them.
«The study also found that mothers
who said their
children were «fussy» babies were more likely to
spank them at ages 1, 2 and 3.
i think the most important issue or concern for parents
who spank for
spankings sake is the limited knowledge most people have about how their
children develop.
However, if you tell me that
children need to be
spanked in order to be shown
who is boss, then I will judge you, your values and your motivations.
I'm talking instead about a select group of Christians
who believe that
spanking is biblical, and it's necessary to raise godly
children, whatever that means.
Although most moms
who answered our survey — 81 percent — were
spanked as
children, only 49 percent say they use this method in disciplining their own kids.
A
child who is
spanked may often wonder if they're «damaged goods.»
I'm well aware that there are still many people
who feel that a good
spanking would put an end to a
child's misbehaviour.
And for every proponent of
spanking out there, there are even more
who feel
children should be punished to learn respect and listen better.
But as their babysitter, I need to feel comfortable enough to talk to you about your
child without feeling as though you are going to flip out (why I never work for parents
who spank, ever.)
It's so important to find like - minded parents
who can offer their «been there, done that» stories, emotional scaffolding, and specific suggestions for when you feel confused as to what to do about your
child's behavior, or when you question whether this new thing you're trying, like positive discipline instead of
spanking, for example, is going to work out in the long term, or how exactly to keep those family attachment bonds strong as your
children grow, or how to move forward when your family encounters challenging life circumstances.
Harried parents, often of multiple young
children,
who spank (but usually refer to it as an occasional «smack» or «slap» rather than
spanking).
So, if you're one of those parents
who lost their patience and needed to address the behavior promptly and
spanked your
child, there's no need to feel guilty.
The very same parents
who say they will never
spank their
children may have done so in the past but quickly learned that sort of discipline doesn't work for their family, or maybe they didn't like the feeling they got once they
spanked their
child.
«Many parents
who were
spanked as
children tell us that they do not remember why they were
spanked, or what they learned, but that they sure do remember being
spanked, how it felt and how angry they were.»
Proponents of
spanking are often religious conservatives,
who reference corporal punishment (
spanking) as being the preferred way to discipline
children in accordance with the Bible.
Proponents also argue that occasionally
spanking a
child who is acting unsafely or terribly does not make them
child abusers or parents with anger problems.
I feel bad for the
children of people
who spank I truly believe
spanking is all about you and is not to better your
child.
It's hard to know exactly what percentage of parents or caregivers (like grandparents) actually
spank a
child, because many
who do don't admit to it.
Plus,
spanking opponents argue, there are plenty of other alternative ways to discipline a
child who is acting inappropriately.
Many parents, even many of those
who are focused on creating a secure attachment with their
child,
spank as a form of discipline.
It could be that your partner was
spanked as a
child and he considers it an effective form of discipline and believes that parents
who love their
children should hit their kids.
We are very kind, respectable, loving and honest people.Im a good mother, have a trying at times but great son
who respects me and understands im his mother not his bff, And in my opinion the problem is ppl
who do nt understand why god wants us to correct our
children by not sparingthe rod... sure, some moms do nt wan na be the bad guy and «
spank» bc god forbid their kid grows up to be violent - yet today most of society refuses to
spank - and yet today we live in a world filled with so much murder, stealing, and crimes that i honestly believe if they had parents following gods word and disciplining like they did back in the day when older generations knew what they were doing we would live in a better world.
On the other hand, the study did find that
children who were fussier at age 1 were more likely to be
spanked and verbally punished, she said.
«If the mother sees this fussiness as willful misbehavior and begins verbally punishing or
spanking, rather than empathizing with the
child, the
child's behavior deteriorates into more tantrums and other frustrating behavior,» said Markham,
who also offers advice at AhaParenting.com.
Berlin and colleagues found that
children who were
spanked as 1 - year - olds tended to behave more aggressively at age 2, and did not perform as well as other
children on a test measuring thinking skills at age 3.
When I was about 20 years old, I met an old pastor's wife
who told me that when she was young and had her first
child, she didn't believe in striking
children, although
spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard punishment at that time.
But most parents, including those
who spank, love their
children and are trying to be good parents.
The results reinforce earlier studies which have found that
children who are
spanked have lower IQ scores and that frequent
spanking has been linked to anxiety and behavior problems and higher risk of violent or criminal behavior, depression and excessive alcohol use.
«
Children who are spanked, hit, or slapped are more prone to fighting with other children,» an expert
Children who are
spanked, hit, or slapped are more prone to fighting with other
children,» an expert
children,» an expert writes.
Two years later, the mothers
who had
spanked their
children more frequently reported higher levels of aggression such as arguing, screaming, fighting, destroying things, cruelty or bullying in their five - year - olds.
«Young fathers
who are depressed are more likely to disengage from care and involvement with the infant,» said James Paulson, «and they're more likely to use harsh parenting tactics like
spanking, yelling, screaming and so forth, which we know is not helpful for
child development and it could be harmful in some situations.»
According to the «experts» (and the
spanking parents
who discuss these things online), you should not
spank babies younger than about 15 - 18 months, and you should not
spank children past the age of 7 years.
Of those parents
who say they
spank their
children frequently — several times a week or more — fully 77 % do not count it as «one of the most effective methods of discipline.
As to the I Don't Like
Spanking My Kids, But I Do It Anyway author's contention that «We are raising a generation of
children who are over-sensitive because they eventually find out that they aren't as good at baseball or ballet as some other kid and their parents promised them that everyone is equal.
Is it really the less than 10 % of
children who aren't
spanked who are responsible for all the problems of our society?
Or could it be that the 90 % of
children who are subject to violence at home in the form of being slapped, paddled, smacked, yanked, whipped, popped,
spanked, etc. are taking those lessons out into the world?
Could it be that the 90 % of
children who are subject to violence at home in the form of being slapped, paddled, smacked, yanked, whipped, popped,
spanked, etc. are taking those lessons out into the world?
Children who are
spanked learn not how to behave better, but rather how to avoid getting caught.
Those
who even bother to justify it say they — and almost everyone they know — were
spanked as
children and they turned out all right.
But research has repeatedly shown the
children who misbehave the most have been treated poorly —
spanked or yelled out.
A parent
who believes that
spanking is the only effective way to teach a young
child about safety issues is not giving the
child enough credit.