Oh, the Calvinists could make perfect sense of it all with a wave of a hand and a swift, confident explanation
about how Zarmina had been born in sin and likely predestined to spend
eternity in hell to the glory of an angry God (they called her a «vessel of destruction»);
about how I should just be thankful to be spared the same fate since it's what I deserve anyway;
about how the Asian tsunami was just another one of God's temper tantrums sent to remind us all of His rage at our sin;
about how I need not
worry because «there is not one maverick molecule in the universe» so every hurricane, every earthquake, every war, every execution, every transaction in the slave trade, every rape of a child is part of God's sovereign plan, even God's idea;
about how my objections to this paradigm represented unrepentant pride and a capitulation to humanism that placed too much inherent value on my fellow human beings;
about how my intuitive sense of love and morality and right and wrong is so corrupted by my sin nature I can not trust it.
They're also perfect year round, so you won't have to
worry about buying a wedding look that sits in the back of your closet for the rest of
eternity — trust me, you'll want to wear it all the time.