Okay, these takes a little bit
of ~ work ~ to make your own gluten - free graham
crackers and dairy - free ice cream, but the payoff is well
worth it.
So Eli did the manly thing and went and bought about a hundred bucks
worth of tools, observed that the toilet not only didn't flush down, but also needed a complete gut replacement, went back to the hardware store, bought a complete set
of innards, stopped by the bookstore to get a book on useful expletives for when nothing works and took the damn thing apart getting the blue stuff all over himself and the floor, that book came in useful, and we learned that contrary to rumor brass screws used in toilets do corrode so you have to go back to the hardware store and get WD - 40 and when that doesn't work you go back yet again and get a nut
cracker (nononono, not that kind).