One thing that I did that helped was I started to read adoption books on how the child is affected. (theletteredcottage.net)
This is a list of adoption books recommended by friends and parents within our adoption agency in case you don't already have some people have told you about! (theletteredcottage.net)
I would like the open adoption book if it hasn't been taken! (makingahouseahome.net)