The phrase "to hold the spoon" means to have control or power over something, like being in charge or taking responsibility for a situation. Full definition
As I stood there holding those spoons in one hand and my dust rag in the other, I had to get real with myself. (theinspiredroom.net)
To make meals more relaxed, allow the bay to hold another spoon while you are feeding them. (checkpregnancy.com)
Use this special time to allow baby to experiment with different tastes, textures and simple pleasures like holding the spoon as he learns what he likes and does not like. (health-foundations.com)